Thread: Met the man of my dreams, not my fiance.

Snow,
I am curious to what you decided. I feel somewhat in the same situation as you. My fiance is great and we have a lot in common. I just can't help feeling like maybe something would be better or I don't really want to do this. Our relationship has been choppy for sure, we go from being close, to far, but keep growing closer. When i started dating him, I realize now he was not the kind of man I wanted, but he has grown into an amazing man who loves me unconditionally and i feel stupid to throw that away for some guy I met at work. I have a history of attempting to run away from anything new or scary and I have a fear of marraige for some reason. Oh, my fiance proposed after 9 months too, so we have that in common as well. He is so sure I am the women he wants to be with and I have put him through so much. I seem to just need something in life to stress about! if it wasn't him and our relationship it was life, God, school, job, family, weight, So I am afraid to throw this away on something i "think" would be better and then go back to stressing about something else. I just wish the anxiety would go away!

For a year and a quarter i thought i was with somebody i'd love forever
until i met anthony, he was everything my fiance was and more
and the more part was the best part because everything that had made me even slightly doubtful about my feelings for my boyfriend, Anthony did better. Like silly things like, my friend has a pool that's ice cold but i always have so much fun in it but the man i loved always moaned and just said it was too cold. But, Anthony? He'd do anything like that. At first i thought i'd just be with him to have some fun cos i wasn't entirely happy with my boyfriend. But now, i'm more in love than I ever have been, and i'm eternally grateful that i took that chance
good luck

hmmm. i have to be careful here don,t need anymore warnings...... i think you owe it to your fiance some honesty have you told him your love making frustrations ? sounds like your jumping the gun here.I have very few things in common with my wife yet we get along great we have great love making moments the reason i know this cause we talk about things were honest with each other 21 years married .Take a step back and deal with One issue at a time ...PS i hope this wasn,t rude in anyway

I agree that you should consider your relationship w/your fiance on its own terms. I'm in a similar situation - tempted by the fruit of another! But it is making me look at my relationship and motivating me to express my needs and wants more openly. Our sex life has never been very good for me and over the years it has not gotten better. We've had hardly any sex in the past few years, none at all in 7 months. Plus he has some heavy duty issues due to 20 years of cult involvement, and since I spent a lot of time & energy helping him out of the cult, my emotional needs have not been met in quite some time. I am now sorting out my wants and needs in my situation. That way if I do break off with my partner and become available for a different relationship, I'll feel that I was being fair to us both.
Good luck!

Marriage is something you don't want to talk lightly. I've been married 14 years together 16 and I now look back at my nervousness on our wedding day. My marriage has been on it's last leg for over a year and half now and if it wasn't for our daughter I would have walked away a long time ago. However, he is a good father and it makes it much harder when children are involved. Take time to yourself and knock out those feelings for this "dream guy". You need to consider your feelings for you fiance. You need to make sure you are making the right decision for you. If there is any doubt, you need to move on, or put the wedding on hold until you are certain. Don't turn up in the same boat I am.