Thread: Met the man of my dreams, not my fiance.

If you are in love with your fiance and think he's the one for your, avoid dream guy at all cost. Really. Put yourself in your fiance's shoes - happy about to be married in love, and just when you are about to pull the trigger and spend the rest of your life with this man BOOM he meets the girl of his dreams: she's prettier, talented shares a lot of hobbies and in one day with her she manages to make him re-consider all of his commitment to you.

Ouch. Just don't do it.. unless of course you do not want to marry your fiance in the first place and in that case this may just be an indicator that you aren't ready at all, and if that is true you need to just let him know that - so that hes free to keep his eyes open for his dream girl too. Although it seems like he already has spotted her - since he proposed to you.

Not trying to make you feel bad, just step back and realize that your fiance has invested so much hope and time and love with you - this dream guy could be just that - a dream. Making an impression, coming off perfect - he could be a cheater, a liar , a game player, someone who screams and yells if a guy talks to you. You just don't know, you've known him a day.

Very good points rcoryeyus, and snowgrrl, you are right to consider if you are making the right decision before taking that leap. This might be away of your subconcious telling you to think about it a little more.

Don't make the mistake of thinking the sex will get better during marriage - read through some of these posts with women having so much problems with their husbands lack of effort to please and how unhappy their relationships are. Not saying his drive has to match yours exactly, but he should at least be considerate of your needs too and willing to compromise to make you happy.

Those are definitely things you want to talk to him about and get out in the open before your locked in and have 3 kids and a mortgage and are unhappy wondering how in the world your gonna get through without cheating or divorce.

He may not realize that he is neglecting you sexually in a way that is difficult to tolerate and creating some doubt and resentment so its worth talking about.

Hobbies and interests can be totally different as long as both are respected and compromises are made so that you can both enjoy what you like seperately, together sometimes.

Your happiness has to be the most important factor to marrying this man, you have to imagine your life with him forever as it is now (you can't really count on and shouldn't even want for someone to change for you) and imagine your life without him and think really hard on which scenerio would make you happier.

Relationships are not all fireworks and electricity, those feelings come and go and come and go - relationships are more about the inbetween stuff, that day to day stuff, how well you get along and respect and enjoy each others company in my opinion. Marrying just because you like the notion of marriage may not have the outcome either of you expect so make sure to be doing it for all the right reasons: because you love each other and want to make each others life better with each other in it.

I still stand by the thought that you should not let some smoothe snowsuit wearing romeo cause you to think you are making a bad choice or receiving second best. There will always be hotter people, there will always be smarter people, richer people, people you have more in common with - always. Even if ski guy was mr. perfect, an even more perfect mr. perfect lurks.

That doesn't by any means you should "settle", it just means you should love the person you are with so much that while others be more shiny they don't appeal to you more than a passing, "wow shiny". That yours will always shine brighter than any other because its you they are shining for. Do you know what I mean?

Just wanted to add that I really didn't mean to come off harsh or anything on that first post and glad that you didn't take it that way. Its so easy to get caught up in a rush of excitement and forget that are SO's may get those same little rushes of excitement from a new sexy something whisking on by and we'd hope against hope that they wouldn't hurt us over some fleeting lust.