Thread: Am I wrong?

Hi newday, you are not wrong for feeling upset by this new behavior pattern of his. Divorce may seem like the only answer in your mind since you are so confused by the way he is acting but there are so many factors at play here that I am of the opinion that you are jumping the gun and basing your decision on heated emotions rather than well though out logic.

A man not being able to provide for his family has got to be one of the biggest fears of any family man. With the financial problems you guys were having, it likely stressed him out so very much that he is probably going through a lot mentally right now. You guys are transitioning with the move and new jobs and he may be feeling a little inadequate that he had to uproot your family in order to provide a better life.

The typical guy isn't going to admit that, he isn't going to cry and tell you he's scared. Instead , all of those emotions just build up on the inside and are let out through anger, being snappy, edgy and downright mean.

Be proud of him for finding the new job, talk about how happy you are that you guys get this opportunity in a new town - accentuate all the positives you can muster. He needs you right now, even though it may not seem like it. Give him the emotional distance he needs while he is trying to come to terms with things himself, and offer support whenever you can - without coming across condesending - that is crucial. No 'there, there, honey' type attitude at all.

Marriages are meant to withstand good times and bad ones. This is a bad time - for both of you, you will need to be the stronger one and let some of the little things go for the greater good. If you love this man, swallow some of the pride and be his rock. Hopefully he will/ has done the same for you in moments of need.

This doesn't mean you have to be an emotional punching bag for him, by any means. And if his behavior continues and continues even after you guys settle in - you will need to step back and re-evaluate how you feel of course.

But for now I think while you are in the mist of such chaos, just try to keep your chin up and know that in his heart he loves you even if these circumstances are bringing out the worst in him.