Really having second thoughts

**withered_rose** · 03-29-2009 05:48 PM

Hello ladies

As many of you know I am going to be getting married in July. I am certainly looking forward to it but I am having second thoughts about it. I mean I am only 20 years old, he is 26. I love him so much but I just wonder what it would be like to have dated other people...... I know that its wrong, but I have been talking with someone that I used to mess around with and he is still really into me....... I never thought that I would be where I am in two years but its happening and I am scared of everything that is going to change and things like that. I guess you could say that I am afraid of being in a marriage where things are totally different from when we have been dating. I think its just cold feet but I think that if I don't get my head straight I am going to do something really stupid.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-29-2009 05:54 PM

I think where marriage is concerned you have to know in your heart you don't want to be with anyone else, ever, he is your all.

You are young, and your having cold feet because you understand the word commitment and you know that means life, in it's true form and off course, you don't want divorce later.
You may also just have cold feet because, well marriage is scary at your age, you haven't experienced life.

If your that scared, you should put it off for 12 months but that's not easy i know because you have to explain that to your other half as to why.

CW

**withered_rose** · 03-29-2009 06:12 PM

I think that I am ready for marriage its just that things are coming to a head with the wedding and moving and everything like that and I am scared of it. I am looking forward to it though. I love him so much with all of my heart and I could never do anything to hurt him. I just think that its cold feet and I need to talk to him about it.

**WildChild** · 03-30-2009 12:05 AM

Why not try some journaling before you do any talking? We women tend to be verbal processors and really do our thinking out loud as it were. Men can have a really hard time dealing with that. They tend to think it out first, then make a statement and see if there is an objection, it not then they assume it OK.

Get clear in your head where you are and what you need before you start talking?

**withered_rose** · 03-31-2009 10:52 PM

WC I think you are right about the journaling, thats really important for me to do that. I just think that mostly what it is, is that I am thinking about going out with other guys when I have a gem at home right there waiting for me. I think if I were to call it quits it would break his heart and mine as well, I couldnt do that to him at all. Not without a good reason, and he hasn't given me a reason ever to want to leave.

**kms** · 04-09-2009 09:02 PM

Just because two people care about each other and get along doesn't mean they should hop right into marriage. If you feel like you just aren't ready for that stage of your life yet, then just postpone the wedding. Too many people get married because they think they 'should' and because they feel the pressure from family members and friends - and look what happens - divorce and broken families. Don't rush into something that you just aren't sure about.

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