Thread: Somebody Please Help Me, I Dont Know What To Do

Get in touch with your family and go home!You chose badly,but it's not to late to have the marriage anulled and get your property back.I'm sure once your family hears what he's been doing,they'll want to throw him a blanket party.

My wife has lost more than one job,and guess what?The hard times seem to be when we close ranks stick close and watch each others backs the most.

And last I'm sorry to hear things have gone so bad for you.huggs!

Thank you all for your concern...I did speak to my mom about whats going on, she told me I can come back home (which I knew, she always told us that). So far, Im still here. Trying to find the courage to leave. I tell myself that I need to go but making the move seems so hard. I find myself looking for every excuse in the world to stay but reality sinks in and I know I should go. I never felt so much pain in my life. I dont understand how could he do this to me, I would do anything for him, when he wasn't working, I took care of everything, never once did I complain, or treat him any less than a man. I guess Ill never understand this, I guess...when I ask him he just says (Im not you, dont expect me to do what you did) How rude is that..Today we did have a decent conversation for about 5 mins and he told me its just me, he doesnt want to be wit me. I asked him to work with me, give me some time, His reply was "I wont work against you"...so now Im sittin here prayin, wishin, hoping that he changes his mind. How do I push myself how the door? This is waaay too hard

Hello, i know exactly how you feel, its so hard to let go specially if you are in love with him.. But hey i ca guarantee you that you will get through this.. You need time thats all, you have to leave thats it he has been very clear to you, if you stay you wont be happy... It will be super hard when you do leave him you are going to feel like , dead inside but when time goes by you will look back an realize you are much more better and deserve a good man who will love you and cherish you.. and remember a marriage is matter of two, you guys have to be a team, if you are down then he needs to bring you up and he hasnt been doing that soooo HIM! You can do it you are way better than that and you are not alone!!!!!!
Much love

i cant really add any thing but to agree with the others who say go and stay with your mum, you need support and love at the moment. not abuse and degredation. i have been both the job losee when the business i was managing was sold and i lost my job my nasty (now ex) husband thought i was trapped and his behaviour became abusive. recently however my lovely boyfriend lost his job, and although things dont look good we have actually become closer through our problems. good luck sweetie - things will improve. your mum is probably worried about you and would prefer to have you at home, where she can help out.

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. First thing: you are swallowing your pride by staying with a man who has no respect for you whatsoever. You will show respect for yourself by standing up for your rights and leaving. No one deserves to be treated like that, and he should face the consequences of his actions.

Second: our families will always be concerned about us, criticize our decisions sometimes, give us a hard time - but most of the time it comes from a good place - because they love us. So they will absolutely welcome you back and help you when you need it, as it sounds like your mom is doing.

Third: it's very hard to leave, especially when you're used to taking a passive role in the relationship (or in life). It's hard to take an action that you know will cause even more conflict - when you'd rather just smooth it out and live peacefully. But in reality, if you choose inaction, YOU aren't living peacefully or happily. You're suffering while everyone else is doing whatever they want without fear of consequence. You're denying yourself your basic human rights of existence. No one else will stand up and get that for you - only you can do that for yourself.

With that in mind, if it's difficult to take action, then ask your family or someone you trust to help you move out. I'll share the fact that a few years ago I was in a bad relationship but I was unable to take action and move out, just like you. I also worried that I would be humiliated for letting my family know, because my dad in particular wasn't sure about the whole thing - but I did it anyway. Nevertheless, the second I finally told them what was going on and that I was having a hard time doing anything about it, my parents and brothers drove several hours to come and get all my stuff and move me out. No questions asked. No nagging. No telling me "I told you so." They just expressed how much they loved me and how proud they were of me for doing the right thing (gosh I'm getting teary-eyed just remembering all this). They waited til he was gone and went in and got all my stuff. I was so emotionally overwhelmed that I started having horrible pains in my arm and couldn't lift anything as a result. So, they just put me in charge of telling them what was mine and they did everything else. In essence, I was still playing a safe (passive) role yet taking the step that needed to be taken.

So I wonder if you could do something like that. Get people to come help you so that you are pretty much 'forced' to go along with it and you're not doing it completely alone, talking yourself out of it constantly.

And remember that you deserve much better than this. Even though you may not feel like it. You need to surround yourself with the people who DO truly care about you, and who have your best interest in mind. Reach out to those who love you because this is too much to bear all alone.

Thanks for your advice...I dont know how I got in this mental state that Im in now. I used to be a very independent, strong person. I remeber seeing this situation with some frinds back home and never once did I think I would be here. If they saw me now, they wouldn't believe it either. I will definitely be in touch with my family and friends because I have lots of people at home that really do care for me. I know I will make it through the this.