six months after seperation
Okay so here is the story... six months ago my husband left me his story we grew apart come to find out that he immediately went to live with another woman one that had been throwing herself at him... Anyways, to make the story short ( i have written previous threads) I receive a text from him two days ago asking me if I would take care of his dog for a while ( we shared the dog before he kept that one at his mothers temporarily I took two small dogs to live with me) Get this I haven't heard from him since I last saw him at an art show with this other women. So he saw me and he pretended not to see me I went up to him after quite some thought and he just shook my hand.. Thirteen years okay...In the text he said hey would you take care of the dog for me for a while....Of course I did not respond and I immediately deleted his text so I wont get the urge to text him back. I dont know his number by memory...Mind me I text him back a while ago and he totally blew me off he ignored my texts. So two days later he called I ignored it and he left me a message. Hi how are you hope things are well with you, I hope you are okay. dog needs to be taken care of for a week. I need him to be taken care of as of today. WHAT GuTS, after he leaves me he then ignores me he still wants to use me... I am so upset and in shock why cant he take his dog where he lives. If the other women loved him she would take the dog in too right.. even if animals are not accepted. Why does he not have friends that can do him the favor?....why does he come bck to old reliable me the only person in his life that was there for him ever... Well he burned his bridges with me Mr. he left the relationship like a coward, ignored me, and refused to talk to me likeif it was my fault that he left me.... The seperation came out of a shocker to me.... so I looked at his text and just smiled out of disbelief.. He is totally mental....
Passion it has been a while, a long while but way proud of you, you see it how it is, someone whom is wanting you to do what you used to "please" , whilst he goes away with this woman and has no one to look after the dogs WT? exactly...
Mental? User................................
Well done that you smiled i am so pleased.... just don't reply babe.
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
Yes - some people do expect strange things after a split. I assume you guys have no kids and so no reason to have to be in contact.
I think ignoring him is the right thing and that your assessment of him as being seriously deluded thinking he can use you as a dogsitter is correct. It'd be different if you were still friendly, if you had kids together who cared for the dog, if you had an arrangement to have something to do with the dog - but you don't.
Keep ignoring, keep deleting the texts and next time you see him in a public place maybe it should be you doing the ignoring.
I am so happy you have the strength of self to not allow yourself to be used for one more second by this man. It's almost as if he could feel the calming of the ocean, thinking you might actually be healing and decide to throw in one extra jab at you. If he isn't cruel, he is dense. One of the two, because why in the world would he not just put the dog in boarding and move on with his day.
His new gf, after the last run in you guys had together probably wouldn't want him keeping the dog with you either and maybe the 2 of them are arguing or something and he's just stirring the pot. Either way, you have nothing to gain by watching the dog, even if you liked the dog why get reattached to it just to have him rip it away again in a week.
Stay strong Passion. This episode should actually make you feel less upset at your loss of him, seeing his selfish nature shining through again and again should give you some peace of mind that you now have the freedom to be open to a love that loves more than itself.
Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.
Good job Passion, How is everything else going? We haven't heard from you for a while. Obviously you are feeling stronger and more positive. What have you been up to?
we don't have kids so we have nothing that unites us anymore. We had four dogs two i kept, one I had to adopt out to a friend, and the other one he kept at his mother's house supposedly until he moved out to his own place.. But I guess it hasnt worked out that way. Its funny but like Hopeless dork says its like he felt the calming of the ocean and he just threw that extra jab just so that i wont forget. WOW. I've been doing well for myself I think. I have been taking care of myself. I have been spending time with friends, taking care of my car that I have been having immensely ammounts of problems with but I am so proud of myself that I am dealing with it and taking care of it on my own.... I still have my mornings where I wake up missing waking up to a husband but I guess that will eventually pass.... You know what they say OUt of sight out of mind. That is so true... I cant be his friend he did not leave things open for a friendship. I would have loved to have been his friend but he did things to me that a friend does not do and I don't need friends like him. I wont allow him to use me anymore. I was always very loyal, faithful, and helpful to him. I will not make that mistake again with him... He lost a great person in me, whatever reasons he might have had but I want more in life now.
Help!!!! I need your help. It still hurts too much and I am conflicted with my own self. I am acting one way but deep inside I want to act another towards him... He has asked his mother to contact me on several occasions to ask for my assistance to give him a copy of our income tax as he needs it for his school I guess to request financial aid. Well I have been ignoring her calls as they both ignored my calls when I needed help..so He called me and left me a message telling me tha his mom has been trying to locate me because he needs the information and he needs it he said I would really appreciate it if you called me back.. After quite a thought I called him because then he would call and call.. I called him to tell him that I have no time to look for the stuff and because I am not able to help him the tax people would. I told him I have a busy schedule. He got upset his voice raised He said all he needed was a copy it was important to him I responded Okay its important to you but not to me. I told him this was your decision you no longer wanted me to be there for you so I am not going to be there for you. He started screaming and said I'm trying to be nice. I told him I am not going to argue with you you could easily get help from them I can't help you no more. I am helping myself now. He asked so they will be able to give me a copy I said yes. He said bye I said bye. His voice was upset. But what I need help in is that He told me he is trying to be nice. HOW?????? By allowing me to help him and make things easier for him??? Okay it is bothering me so much that I tried to call him back but to no surprise he did not answer... I guess he accomplished what he wanted. Now this is my problem... I feel the need to call him and tell him more... but its like if he brought me back and now i feel like he is laughing at me again....
He had his Mom call you? Why? Because he was too chicken too? And, when that didn't work he then had to call didn't he.
He was "trying to be nice" meaning, the way he was originally speaking to you "to get something else from you", until he realised that he can actually get it from the tax department.
Once he established that, he say bye.
And, then didn't take your text.
You did very well... You actually accomplished what you wanted, you chose not to assist him... you chose from him to find another avenue to obtain what he needed. You told him exactly that.
He's not laughing at you at all.. He didn't win you did.
Deep breathe......
Don't pick up the phone, you haven't had closure there is an abundance of things you want to hurl at him, haha.. but why bother?
Then he does win, because then he gets to see how your really feeling, what you did was show him it's not your concern, and that you don't care.
Stay strong Passion.
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
oh Passion I was so happy to see your posts Congrats I am very happy for you!
The tax ppl can help him and he can get a dog sitter. He is "trying to be nice" to get more work out of you. This is just like the passwords. He my friend is a user!!!!!!!
He will contact you when he needs something when he is in need of something. You had it right on when u needed help where was he or his mother.......... ignoring you. He expects you to give so he takes. You did great keep telling him like it is. You are no longer interested in his life or anything he needs. He can get it some how some way on his own.
Keep strong!!
Good Job Passion! If he had a clue about taxes he'd know he can go on the IRS web site and get or request a copy of the taxes. You held to your needs and your integrity. He's just trying to lay a guilt trip on you, he can't believe you aren't his doormat. You were with him so long, how could his dumping you and being so callous cause you to cease caring? After all he's such a great guy - I'm sure the new gf tells him so.
It's all a head trip. His trip. Not yours. Now you do something nice for yourself this evening or tomorrow. Buy yourself some flowers, light some candles, sip glass of good wine, watch a funny movie, have a long soak in the tub, take a walk and get yourself a doubledecker ice cream cone, give yourself a pedicure. Just indulge a bit, you are so worth it lady!
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