so when can you stop thinking about that he has cheated

**bikerchic** · 05-06-2009 09:18 PM

I found out that my husband of 2 years has been emotionally unfaithful pretty much the entire time we’ve been together. I moved away from my home state, my family, and everything I’ve ever known to be with this (EDITED) It kills me that all the while I was struggling to adjust and bending over backwards to be the perfect wife (and stepmother to his teenage son), he’s been entertaining conversation with this woman. His initial excuse was that he was concerned about her because she had cancer and I guess it’s worsened in the last year or so. That’s no excuse, because just because someone is sick doesn’t give you carte blanche to break your vows, nor does it entitle the sick person to whatever she wants. Here’s the thing that has me FLOORED. Besides the fact that she’s 12 years older than me, I just found out that this “relationship” was an affair. She was married when she was messing around with my husband 10 years ago! So this idiot was (and still is) the side piece, the jump-off, and is stupid enough to A) claim it; and B) sacrifice his home for it. Like he really doesn’t believe she was flat on her back with the next little young airman that showed up on the base the moment he shipped out! I love this thread, it’s great & I am trying to get the info on her that I need so that I can tell EVERYBODY about her, especially her poor husband. Anyone willing to take on a sick woman should be treasured, not played for a chump. I’ll be graduating on Saturday with my Bachelors (with honors, despite this BS), and I’m taking the LSAT in September. I intend to apply to schools in my home state as well as schools where I live now. There is no way I am willing to forego my dream for somebody so spineless and stupid.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-06-2009 09:39 PM

The thread you replied on was in 2007... The OP has not returned, hense I created a new thread under the same title for you.

Do you really want to do that? Destroy her life? It's over anyway in accordance with your husband, she has Cancer... Forgetting about her, do you really want her husband who thinks probably that she is his all, to be crushed like that?

What comes around goes around you don't have to be the instigator.

Seems he has always liked her and hasn't ever let go, despite marrying you.

Congratulations on your graduation..

I know your angry, but better you found out only after 2 years with him than 20 years, you can move on with your life and find someone worthy.

CW

**WildChild** · 05-06-2009 10:31 PM

Went through this with my first husband. He was obsessed with an old gf, wrote her love letters, songs, poems, ran up phone bills calling long distance (this before cell phones or calling cards). He had multiple affairs too. Thing is it's a problem with him, there is something missing in him that he does this. I never understood why the man married me when he was so stuck on this other woman. It hurts - badly.

Funny thing, I'm told after I left him (nearly 30 yrs ago) then I became the great love that 'got away'. He's never remarried. I've never regretted leaving.

Carrying a load of bitterness will not serve you. Find a healthy way to let it go. What they do once you are gone is not your concern. Revenge will not make it hurt less and what you put out into the world does tend to come back multiplied. Move on, let it go. Let living a good and fulfilling life be your way of coping!