Fiancee touches me and tries to have sex while im asleep

**NLlilangel25** · 05-31-2009 07:21 AM

Gosh I dont know where to begin...this has been going on for 2yrs now, and its to the pt where i just hate him now, but have kids and scared to leave. I have woken up to my fiancee having sex with me, or have woken up butt naked and him touching me, and jackin off to it.

I have also in the past found a video that he took with me asleep and him jackin off on me. I was so angry that i have confronted him, and he claims that he is going to stop, but yet he keeps on doing it.

Everyone else thinks this man is a saint, I am not sure what to think of him at this pt. The other night I woke up to find my bottoms down...and i looked over and he was pretending to be asleep. I yelled at him, and the next day he acted like nothing happen. I was a child hood victim of sexaul abuse, and was even attacked prior to meeting my fiancee...what am i suppose to make of this?

**Iseulda** · 05-31-2009 01:30 PM

Angel - I'm sorry this is happening to you and I'm very sorry you were abused when you were vulnerable.

In this situation you have a man who clearly has no respect for your boundaries. You have asked him to stop, told him to stop, yelled at him to stop. You have not been ambiguous about the fact that you do not enjoy this. He is not listening.

I know you have kids but my first reaction is that you should leave. You can't marry a man you hate - leaving might be difficult but it will be a lot easier than putting up with this abuse for the rest of your life. You could try an ultimatum first - you could try telling him that if it happens just one more time you are leaving, no more chances, no talking you out of it and then, if he does do it again, you will have to follow through and leave. Or you could just leave now.

Does he know you were abused? If you haven't told him I really think you should try to - I know that might be really difficult (it is a lot easier to say it to strangers on the internet than to someone's face). Maybe he just doesn't understand how much you hate it, how it is making you hate him.

How is your consensual sex life? Do you have sex together when you are awake and want to? Or does this underhand behaviour of his put you off wanting him at all?

I don't believe you can stay with him if he keeps doing this (and by that I mean if he does it even one more time) - it shows such a fundamental lack of respect for you that makes me think you can't trust him to be your life partner.

Stay strong - remember, you deserve better than to be treated like this.

**WildChild** · 05-31-2009 02:11 PM

I would also be concerned that he has recorded you without your consent or knowledge. What's to stop that from showing up on the web? This could follow you the rest of your life. Lay down the law. This needs to stop. He is not respecting you at all.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-31-2009 04:30 PM

Originally Posted by Iseulda

Angel - I'm sorry this is happening to you and I'm very sorry you were abused when you were vulnerable.

In this situation you have a man who clearly has no respect for your boundaries. You have asked him to stop, told him to stop, yelled at him to stop. You have not been ambiguous about the fact that you do not enjoy this. He is not listening.

I know you have kids but my first reaction is that you should leave. You can't marry a man you hate - leaving might be difficult but it will be a lot easier than putting up with this abuse for the rest of your life. You could try an ultimatum first - you could try telling him that if it happens just one more time you are leaving, no more chances, no talking you out of it and then, if he does do it again, you will have to follow through and leave. Or you could just leave now.

Does he know you were abused? If you haven't told him I really think you should try to - I know that might be really difficult (it is a lot easier to say it to strangers on the internet than to someone's face). Maybe he just doesn't understand how much you hate it, how it is making you hate him.

How is your consensual sex life? Do you have sex together when you are awake and want to? Or does this underhand behaviour of his put you off wanting him at all?

I don't believe you can stay with him if he keeps doing this (and by that I mean if he does it even one more time) - it shows such a fundamental lack of respect for you that makes me think you can't trust him to be your life partner.

Stay strong - remember, you deserve better than to be treated like this.

I couldn't have said that better.

It concerns me also that he is an "addict", if he wasn't, he would be able to stop but he can't...

Find that tape if you can and also if there are more and destroy them as well...

So sorry you have had to wake up to this after all you went through, I would not be concerned about the fact you have children to him, I would leave, I can visualise 5 years down the track and him being caught out by one of your children over a computer or something as well, he has an addiction...

CW

**amaranthine** · 05-31-2009 04:56 PM

He's treating you like property. He thinks he can just do as he wants with you, whenever he wants to.
He obviously doesn't care that you don't like it either. Your feelings and opinions don't seem to mean anything to him.

You should definitely leave him.

**HALFNOTHING** · 06-01-2009 05:21 AM

My first reaction to this post is : He is a certified MANIAC. you're not animal to treat like that way..

are you showing him that you don't like to have that with him?
how is your sexual reaction? what i mean is, do u react on him every time you're doing it? your intimacy or passion to sex, is still the same like years before?

if YES, he is absolutely radical bull living in this world...

send him to place where monster like him live..

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