no strippers!

**reoww :)** · 06-04-2009 08:44 PM

Hi, i'm new to this site.
I just saw this forum & had to write something.
My boyfriend & I were discussing the future..
and the question came up about the bachelor party.
Now, my boyfriend knows how I am. I must say, for a girl,
I am very protective and jealous when it comes to other girls
looking at my man. It's not that I don't trust him, but I don't trust
the other girls. He always says "Yeah but if a girl tries to do anything
with me, i can just tell her to get lost. Whereas if a guy tries to do anything
with you & you tell him to get lost.. he could hurt you and harrass you because he is much stronger." Now part of that is true, but still. I've seen
what girls are like. And these days girls are getting hotter & looking after themselves more with new technologies like hair straightening or fitness programs. I feel like i'm constantly competing with other girls which is stupid
i know! Anyways that's another story. Back to the bachelor party.
I can't STAND the thought of another woman half naked infront of my man, while dirty dancing on him! He says "It's tradition for guys to have a stripper."
but I said "It is also about what your partner is comfortable with." He also said that he most likely won't have one and would probably just get drunk with close friends, which is fine. But I know his friends. I have seen the way they act. I know 100% that they would all get him a stripper whether he liked it or not. And I hate that. Then you think to yourself, if I don't let him have a stripper and all that stuff, he is going to start feeling tied down and trapped and this could eventually lead to him being unfaithful. Or, if you let him have one, what if something more than just a lap dance happens and then it totally ruins your relationship? All i know is, when the day of the bachelor party comes, I am going to be ripping my hair out with worry!
So to all the ladies in here that can relate to this, if you don't feel comfortable with a stripper.. there is nothing wrong with that!
I totally agree with you

Good luck.
xx

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-05-2009 05:12 AM

moved to new thread, last post was 2008.

He makes valid points.

And, you can't change the Universe what a person is, turns out like, nothing you can do, so why waste your energy on jealousy and living in fear of what other women are about?

The key is to know what your man is about, not her... She / the Witch will always be there.

Yeah but if a girl tries to do anything
with me, i can just tell her to get lost

He didn't flob you off, laugh he gave the best answer a woman can ever recieve....

Love you babe.

He does.

CW

**hippiechick2405** · 06-05-2009 07:56 AM

IMHO, I don't find anything wrong with my husband going to a strip club every once in a while. I used to be the jealous type at the beginning of our marriage and it almost ended our marriage. I have given him my blessings to go for about 10 years now and he has only been twice. He did get a lap dance, which I wasn't crazy about, but he was so proud because it only cost him $10 instead of $20 because the girl thought he was "just so sweet". That made me laugh. I figure the less "restraints" you try to put on your boyfriend, the less he will feel "tied down". Good luck!

**hippiechick2405** · 06-05-2009 08:00 AM

And, if he does have a stripper at his party, when he gets home (or soon after), you should give him your own stip tease. He'll totally love your stripping a lot better!

**WildChild** · 06-05-2009 08:16 AM

Volunteer to do the job, see how he feels about that. After all the women who do this are someones; daughter, mother, sister, gf, wife. If it's Ok for them to do it and him and his buddies to see should be OK for you to do? Nothings going to happen but looking-right? What reallly goes on at a bachelor party is generally several levels above what happens in a public club. If he puts "tradition" over your feelings, you two still have some talking to do.

That said, if jealousy is an issue for you, you have some work to do. That little monster can wreak disaster in a relationship.

**ItsASecret** · 06-05-2009 08:30 AM

But I know his friends. I have seen the way they act. I know 100% that they would all get him a stripper whether he liked it or not. And I hate that. Then you think to yourself, if I don't let him have a stripper and all that stuff, he is going to start feeling tied down and trapped and this could eventually lead to him being unfaithful. Or, if you let him have one, what if something more than just a lap dance happens and then it totally ruins your relationship?

This part is what I totally agree with. You can tell a guy how much you dislike some random **** grinding him to a full out boner, he can totally see where you stand on the situation and yet he will not hesitate to get one. Why? Why is it so hard for a man to explain to his buddies that his girlfriend, fiance, wife is okay with him watching a stripper but is not okay with the lapdance?

My personal biggest fear is that I do get jealous when he puts himself in these types of situations, and what if he does do something out of spite because he is tired of having those 'talks' about honesty? To me I get most worried when he goes to the strippers, and the night club. Not so much the bar/pub anymore. But the club is where the total trashy ones sit and wait for any guy to bump and grind with, without a single qualm that he is in a relationship. What is a guy to do in that situation? Tell the girl who could be the hottest chick he has ever seen to stop making him so aroused? Good luck, he won't pass up that kind of opportunity.

**Hopeless Dork** · 06-05-2009 09:27 AM

My friend that dances told me that bachelor parties, and birthday parties (the very ones wives and girlfriends generally give seal of approval for going to) are the raunchiest. There is much money to be made as the guys are like "this is a special night" and throw there wallet concerns out the window, the dancers prey on them like broken atm machines and really try to one-up each other to get money during those types of parties. One-upping being.. going farther and farther and being extremely outrageous.

If its a respectful (lol, i realize I just said respectful when refferring to a strip joint) club, no serious damage can be done. And the girls wont blow him or sleep with him, other things.. eh, possible. Even though most luxery of luxury of clubs close their eyes to extreme lapdances in which the guys get a dry hump "happy ending"

But what are you gonna do? It IS in fact tradition for guys to go all cavemen and beat their chest the night before their wedding. Denying him that will lead to resentment, him going against your wishes will lead to resentment on your part. The best thing to do would be go ahead and give that seal of approval. He knows how you feel, he loves you , hes marrying you afterall so just hang in there and keep your mind busy night of bachelor party.

Hopefully he is having his party in public and not a private home. I personally think a lot more trouble can be had with private dancers in a home setting (they have no rules but their own rules like that). But either way, It wouldn't make me happy either but you don't want to be the butt of all his friends jokes behind his back. The cause of him being labeled henpecked etc, his buddies will resent you (as a friend getting married is almost synonymous with "well at least I'll get to see some strippers at the bachelor party" its their one consession to approval of their friends marriage lol.

**HALFNOTHING** · 06-06-2009 04:36 AM

You're relationship won't work out if at this early, you're thinking like that.. When your heart fell in love, that means you are ready to hurt.. Hurt not intentionally.. You have to trust him.. Everybody has its own personality. so, you must think that your bf will be loyal and trustworthy.. strippers are only strippers.. Don't worry and afraid of strippers because they are using protective (pills hehe).. Intelligent men use stripper in their love ones absence.. If Your bf will cheat by means of having another woman, that's the time you will react.. don't be so far suspicious. It won't help.. It will just make your brain and heart break.

Your bf did tell you an assurance by telling that he will asks these girls to get lost in their life..All you have to do is to look at the mirror and see how beautiful are you? hehehe