Thread: Cheating husband

Hi Cinah,

Your totally emotionally drained aren't you. I can feel it in your words.

I moved your thread because you replied to an old one, 2008 which won't help you get answers, support..

Here are the things I notice:-

My husband feels like I trapped him into confessing

I believe it was a one time thing, and I also know it was pre-meditated. It happened a few hours drive away from home, and now guess what? She has moved within 35 miles of us

.

Sadistically, last night I asked him if she was pretty...and he started to say "Shes prettier...." and then he stopped, and said, yeah, she's pretty, but not as pretty as you

Don't let him put the blame on you, that's the cowards way out of trying to hide the guilt that they are feeling themselves. It's so much easier to blame you, he will blame you for the "once off" which may actually not be the case, if she has moved closer, it sounds to me that your husband is having an affair. He will say it's all your fault.

I want you to remember it is not. And, this will get ugly, because once you get past all this hurt and pain after 23years, (you've lost too much weight in too little time), it's pain, stress, then you will get angry..

It works in cycles.

Firstly, I would suggest you confide in your parents... They need to know what to expect and they need to be there for you now.

Secondly, I suggest you force yourself to start to eat little bits 6 times a day, you need energy, your drained.

Thirdly, any more snooping is going to kill you inside, there's no point.

Your husband is dis-respectful. He hasn't begged you for forgiveness, said he is sorry, told you it was stupid, shown you the love you need from the emotional pain your suffering, he makes a "stupid" comment that "no she's not as pretty as you but she's pretty". WFT?

Kick him out ...

Focus on you.

I know that's the easy solution on our side for you, but it's not. He's not coming to the party..

He's not telling you the whole story just little bits and yet, he's taunting you over "yeah she's pretty", that's just not on...

23 years is certainly a long time.

What about your children? How old are they? Where are they?

Don't hold all this in by yourself, it's not good for you... You need to talk to someone but I'm glad you started here.

If your husband explained why he strayed, what you two could do to change things, then you could work on that.

Do you think he can?

If, he only wants to play the "blame game", ignore it and get away from it, because he will put it all on you and as I said it is NOT your fault, it takes two to ruin a relationship as much as it takes two to start one, and if one can't see, won't help, won't work through it, then your better off.

If you really look at those 23 years, can you say, we had fun, always laughed, never fought, went out everywhere, had amazing sex, he did things for me that no one would do, he's attentive, he accepts all my givings as well, we are soul.

Or was it 23 years of "being together", this is also something you may want to look at.

We are here.

CW