Thread: My husband has a porn addiction

Due to misuse of technology, more and more husbands, significant others, and boyfriends get addicted to porn. You are not alone. He definitely needs help - it is his addiction which is the problem, not you. Don't blame yourself and stop that self-pity.

Are you out of shape all these 9 years? Whether you are or not, get your butt in the gym and workout. I've always been telling fellow women to keep working out, and keep their bodies toned - healthy and attractive. Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder, I meant beholder...what impairs his eyes is his obsession to porn - fantasy, people who are just acting out, not real, unreachable.

Have you talked to him about how it is devastating your relationship, and how it is affecting you as a wife, as a person? Try to sitdown and tell him how you feel in a "safe" and loving way. Focus on telling him how you feel, not on what he does.

You should be his own brand of porn. Get outside help. Find a counselor/sex therapist/psychologist...whatever fits you.

Does he say your boobs aren't big enough or is that just how you feel because the women he looks at has them? He wants to include you, it sounds like by the way you say he wants you to try new things. If these new things are not going to cause you any physical or emotional scars, why not suprise him one night and give something fresh a shot?

I don't mean that you have to cater to his every whim or try to become a porn star or do anything that hurts your body or your feelings but barring those things, a new position, a new outfit, a new act that you both agree on can bring something exciting and fun for you too.

Sometimes women can push a committed man in a corner. He has a desire for something and they say , nope I won't do it you need to get over it - and then get mad at the porn they watch that fullfills at least the visual aspect of the desire.

There was a poster recently that was completely against blowjobs, at least the ending part , or handling the ending part in the way he wanted, she said - thats for the women that the men don't marry. But if he's with you - you already have his respect if he wants to get down and dirty with you, you are committed you can let your hair down and dig in.

Of course it has to be things that you are comfortable with, but you might want to push your own bounderies a little bit, life is short, he is with YOU, just because he has desires to spice it up doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong it means he's curious and wants to explore. I think exploring with him would bring you two even closer, but of course it has to be what you want and what you are willing to do.

You don't have to swing from the drapes and what not, but maybe taking a fantasy of his he wants to perform with you and modifying it to something you are willing to try - meet in the middle. As long as you are trying meet him halfway it will probably mean a lot to him that you are trying.

Originally Posted by yellowpiXi3

I believe he's hiding porn because "its HIS porn" some guys are VERY protective of their porn. And just because he watches porn DOESN'T mean that its what he REALLY wants. He's with YOU.

I agree with the above posters...you might want to try to spice things up a bit. I think there's an exercise video now that you can get in shape and learn to "strip" too. Its a video with Carmen Electra. I mean, do it for yourself first...and he just gets the bonus part of watching you.

yep, way to go, pix!

Try to spice things up (though you've said you've tried everything) - that is YOUR opinion. He might say otherwise. It doesn't mean you're not good enough. We all have our personal preferences, and specifications of what we want or what not. It's like how men want their steaks done: rare, medium rare, medium, medium - done or well-done!

The bottomline is open - communication. Meet halfway, talk about it. But don't violate yourself and pretend you're enjoying it, but not really. Your self-respect and sel-esteem is at stake, make a move in such a way that suits you both.