I separated from my husband 3 weeks ago. We have been married for 8 years and it has had a lot of ups and downs. He does not treat me the way I want to be treated but I have always felt that all guys will be the same way so I just put up with it. I recently turned 30 and realized that I don't want to put up with his controlling behavior and negative comments. I want him to love me for who I am and I want him to want to be with me no matter what.
I know that he loves me I just don't think he loves me emotionally it is more physically. He isn't a bad guy at all he is just used to getting his way all the time and I am to blame for that and now that I have decided that I am sick of the way he treats me he is confused and it is hard for him to understand. I have told him all of this since the separation and I think that he might be able to change his ways but I am still unsure because he hasn't really proved himself yet. We have had a tough year and that is why we have decided to take a break until we can figure out how to make things better. The worst part is I have a best friend who is a guy and he treats me exactly the way I have always wanted to be treated. I feel so comfortable and relaxed around him and he never pressures me into doing anything. We are just friends but I am starting to feel more for him. He has always told me how much he likes me and wished I wasn't married but has never said anything bad about my husband or tried to break us apart. He doesn't know how I feel about him and my husband doesn't know how close we are, my husband just thinks we are kinda friends when really he is my best friend. I don't know what to do because when my husband and I try to go on a date most of the time I feel nothing and I am thinking of my friend. Does anyone have any advice as to what I should do? I can't keep going on like this because my husband wants to move back in but I still feel like I'm not ready because the love just isn't there. Is it possible to get the love back between my husband and I or once you are emotionally cut off is that just it? If anyone has any similiar situations or advice it would be really appreciated. Thanks.

I responded to your other message just a second ago. It's hard to fall back in love with someone who treats you badly. As I mentioned in my other post, it may be time for you to move on and give yourself a chance at being treated the way you should.

Hi there,
I have been married before and am married now and to be honest with you i have been in the exact same position your in now. My ex husbandeven went so far as to ask me if he cold sleep with another woman who was more the 'body type of his fantasy' as he put it. He was overly jealous, controlling, and not very nice to me in general. Now granted I was not married for 8 years but I felt the way you do now. Then I left and came to Ohio to be with my friend so I could clear my head and ended up making many new friends here. One of those friends helped me out through the hard times of a bad relationship and tough decisions and I began to fall in love. I finally told him of my feelings and now it's a little undr a year later and we are married and could not be happier! He treats me right and I feel like I'm special now, like i mean something to someone. That's how it sounds like this friend of yours makes you feel. I got tired of my ex's and decided I was worth more then that. If your turely unhappy, still make this decision with the though of it has been 8 years but do I want to put up with this for another 8, that way you see both sides of the pendelum. You deserve to be happy and to be treated like the great woman you are. I would tell your friend. It might be the best decision you ever made. To at least tell him how you feel if nothing else.

Thans so much for responding WillowRaven. I really appreciate your thoughts on this and I have plans to hang out with my friend tomorrow night and I was planning on telling him how I feel about him and how he makes me happy and that he treats me better than anyone ever has. At least I will feel better knowing that he knows how great of a person he is even if we don't end up together. Lately I feel like my mom is siding more with my husband because I haven't taken him back yet to give him a second chance so she is starting to make me feel a little guilty. I'm not so sure that I want to give him a second chance because over the 15 years I have known him I have given him lots of chances to change and he never has so I keep thinking that he is going to do what he always does and change for a little while and then go back to the usual . I have had alot of women tell me that men will never change so I am really keeping that in mind. Thanks again for your advice and thoughts.