So, I kind of have the same situation as you do..I go to school full time (got one year left) and he works full time, but he absolutely HATES his job...he thinks he was born to be miserable, that he has to just accept the fact that he is a depressed person and this will help him. I always try to tell him that he could go to school if he wanted, he could find a diff job, but he just makes his own pitty party. It finally came a time where I had to explain to him that there was no use complaining, that everyone has the ability to be succesful, that he just does not apply himself. That was the end of it, each time he complains now I do not try to comfort him, just let him talk and if he wants to do something about his life he will..
OK, I have been married a year and in the beginning it was hard. My husband was married before and it had alot of problems. He was always held back in his other relationship. When we started our relationship I was very supportive of his dreams. But then he kept on changing his mind on what he wanted to do. It got to the point where is was dragging both of us down and making things worse. I finally had to tell him what I was really thinking. I told him that I would support him no matter what but we needed to think about everything. I also told him that he needed to grow up. I guess it really hit him. He needed to grow up and change. It worked and things are much better. So maybe this little story can help.
Hi!
Ok, so first off, I would like to say that I appreciate all the advice I received, it has def. helped me in keeping an open mind with him, I will just let him figure things out as he goes along in life, but that really bothers me just because I don't do that. But I will try my best and let him do that..I do nag him, but maybe that is what's backfiring I guess? We had the traditional wedding, but I didn't sign on the dotted line yet..so in other words, we're not legally married. And now he wants to go to the court house and become legal, and I'm freaking out. Because I don't want to do that now. So, but I will let him be for now, and see how it all works out. I'm graduating in Oct. So, this added stress is just getting me down. Ok, I need to breathe!
Sometimes time will help. For me being married is much for than a piece of paper. Alot of people worry about being legal and having a signed paper saying that they are married. This is just my thoughts. IT might be really important for him to have the paper between you all. If that is the case then you need respect him for that. Just like he needs to respect you for being scared. You all are in a relationship that should be equal. It should not be a battle. It sounds like priorities are different for each of you. Getting on the same level will help.
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