Thread: When is it finally enough?

OMG, I totally agree. Your husband is way out of control! You mentioned he is understanding, compassionate and caring. Honestly, I really don't see it in his actions.

One of the most important elements of a relationship -- and especially marriage -- is TRUST. He's thrown it out the window. If unchecked, he will put you, your little girl, your financial stability and your credit rating at huge risk.

He needs an intervention if you're willing to completely put your foot down and give him an ultimatum. If he doesn't change after this, then I'd say ENOUGH is firmly in your rear-view mirror.

Is he employed?
Is your name on the creidt cards?
Contact the credit card companies and explain that you pay the bills and want his credit curtailed, you may or may not be able to put a Mrs only on them, it depends on how they are set up.
Spouses credit reports are separate these days but they will check both to issue credit, have a note placed on your credit report that you will not support his credit or debt - they can tell you what you need do for that.
Check your credit report and his to see if there are accounts and debt you don't know about.
Can you put an admin pass word on the computers and limit his access ? Just use a lock for kids so he can't access porn sites.
He may be a compulsive shopper but this sounds more like a vindictive child.

I'd say cut your losses, reduce your stress and throw him out.

ok one thing I have to ask... is your name attached to these credit cards? I"m sorry but you married a very selfish man. If he had a clue in his head he would NOT break such expensive things. This is an abusive threatening relationship and he is the bully. I'm sure its your fault once the is broken too.

Now I don't know how old you both are but he does act like a child. It sounds like he want s a mother to say NO to him and keep him in line not a wife.

If he wants this stuff he can get a job and earn it who cares what your salary is. He isn't handing life to you why should you hand it to him. You both should be working for a lifestyle you want together.

Now with the debt..... if you can pretty much walk free and clear without this debt associated to you then by all mean s make a plan walk out the door with your daughter and don't look back. If you have to make a plan that involves you leaving in 6 months or a year then MAKE it and follow it.

1. Have the internet disconnected and use it at the library or work. IF that is not an option .... if you have wirless internet password the Roater so he can't access with any wirless devices.

2. if your name is associated with this debt take the stuff out of the house to a friends house put it online to sell ... sell it pay off the credit cards oh and cut them up before you do this so he can't go charge it AGAIN. Call the company have your name removed ASAP from credit that is associated with him and close that credit in your name. Open other credit if you have to alone.

Then you might want to do some soul searching and look at your role in this relationship and see where you are the enabler and cave to these tactics and give into him. Take courses seek out a womens shelter they ususally offer assertive courses. YOU are letting this man walk all over you. You are from a military family well then you said you know how to suck it up not be the victim and come out of this stronger then going in.

This sounds like such a toxic relationship I"m sure I would have lost it by now. if he cries and says sorry I would still do what I could to get away from this man. He needs anger management

Enough is enough. You don't have to take care of him and that is what is sounds like. IF your credit is not attached to his, then put him out. Make sure you are ok and you daughter. The worse thing that could happen, is she become like him. You are a strong women, leave the weak men behind, if he is goes to treat you like that. Luck

Well I dont know if I'll ever reach my complete point. However I am starting therapy next week. Hopefully I'll find the strength to do what is best for my daughter and myself. Those of you who have read my thread and responded to me thank you very much. The more advice I get the better I can be. Those of you who are in similar situations please dont lose yourself like I have. I can attest to the fact that the more u compromise urself, the more u will hate him or her for it. Everybody please pray for me. Thank You