I just need advice. - Page 2

**OhThereYouAre** · 07-08-2009, 02:10 PM

wow...some guys are just s.

this isn't a good sign.

work isn't an excuse...since he seems to find the time to talk/text with this other female.

and what kind of woman associates with a man she knows is married?

i wouldn't say that the marriage is over, but you are constantly going to worried about his conduct for a while.

give it time. he may come around.

Tama · 07-09-2009, 12:33 PM

I know that tons of women must come on here for advice and never come back.
So, I thought I'd give everyone an update.
Yesterday, I called my pastor, and asked him if there were any other marriage counselors he would reccomend. I explained that I want a completely detached third party to counsel us, and that i still value him as a dear friend and religious guide.

He was happy to give me a few names and numbers.
We start counseling next week.
For all of those who posted on here, thank you for your input.
And to those, especially, that PMd me and offered advice, and even reccomended counseling centers, I thank you.

I really needed support and I found it here. I think I'm ready to start moving on, and trying to rebuild my relationship. I think I can forgive.
I'll try to post a couple of more updates to let you all know how we are doing.

**starjoy08** · 07-09-2009, 03:08 PM

I would have been really hurt too. It will take time to get over. But he will have to do alot of the work. He messed up, he needs to work on fixing it.

Tama · 08-01-2009, 03:07 PM

I am back to give an update. I'm not sure how many will actually read it though. Counseling is good I guess. To be honest I don't feel as though its helping. We are talking, but we talked before we started going to counseling. Now, Michael feels as though he's said what he needed to say, so most of the sessions are just quiet.
I hate being the only one worried.
I understand, that he just wants to move on. I don't want to keep picking at this but, we had a problem. A problem that almost ended our marriage. And I can't convince him that a problem like that doesn't just appear and disappear. Something caused it.
But I can't figure out what, and he won't tell me.
Again, until all of this happened, I was perfectly happy and I thought he was too. I can't fix what I don't know is broken, and he is jus getting mad at me for not dropping it.
I just don't know what to do.

**WildChild** · 08-01-2009, 03:35 PM

Even if he doesn't continue counseling, you should. Do explain to him how important it is to you. It can really help to have someone to talk to who isn't part of the situation. It sounds like he might want to just forget it happened? He isn't understanding yet that he has to own his actions?

07-09-2009, 12:33 PM	#12
Tama Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: East Texas Posts: 14	Update I know that tons of women must come on here for advice and never come back. So, I thought I'd give everyone an update. Yesterday, I called my pastor, and asked him if there were any other marriage counselors he would reccomend. I explained that I want a completely detached third party to counsel us, and that i still value him as a dear friend and religious guide. He was happy to give me a few names and numbers. We start counseling next week. For all of those who posted on here, thank you for your input. And to those, especially, that PMd me and offered advice, and even reccomended counseling centers, I thank you. I really needed support and I found it here. I think I'm ready to start moving on, and trying to rebuild my relationship. I think I can forgive. I'll try to post a couple of more updates to let you all know how we are doing.

08-01-2009, 03:07 PM	#14
Tama Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: East Texas Posts: 14	As promised I am back to give an update. I'm not sure how many will actually read it though. Counseling is good I guess. To be honest I don't feel as though its helping. We are talking, but we talked before we started going to counseling. Now, Michael feels as though he's said what he needed to say, so most of the sessions are just quiet. I hate being the only one worried. I understand, that he just wants to move on. I don't want to keep picking at this but, we had a problem. A problem that almost ended our marriage. And I can't convince him that a problem like that doesn't just appear and disappear. Something caused it. But I can't figure out what, and he won't tell me. Again, until all of this happened, I was perfectly happy and I thought he was too. I can't fix what I don't know is broken, and he is jus getting mad at me for not dropping it. I just don't know what to do.

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07-08-2009, 02:10 PM	#11
OhThereYouAre Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Cincinnati Posts: 1,192	wow...some guys are just s. this isn't a good sign. work isn't an excuse...since he seems to find the time to talk/text with this other female. and what kind of woman associates with a man she knows is married? i wouldn't say that the marriage is over, but you are constantly going to worried about his conduct for a while. give it time. he may come around.

07-09-2009, 03:08 PM	#13
starjoy08 VIP Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: In the Alabama area Posts: 60 Blog Entries: 1	I would have been really hurt too. It will take time to get over. But he will have to do alot of the work. He messed up, he needs to work on fixing it.

08-01-2009, 03:35 PM	#15
WildChild Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 5,859 Blog Entries: 4	Even if he doesn't continue counseling, you should. Do explain to him how important it is to you. It can really help to have someone to talk to who isn't part of the situation. It sounds like he might want to just forget it happened? He isn't understanding yet that he has to own his actions?