What To Do.... - Page 2

#11 01-04-2007, 12:07 PM

One of the lessons it takes a lifetime to learn
is that the only thing you really have control
over is how you behave.

If you make a fool of yourself, long after the
event is over you will never forget how silly
you behaved.

If you can get through the most devastating
incidents with dignity and intelligence, you
will 'dine out' on the story for the rest of
your life.

His adultery will no longer be the centrepiece,
how you responded will be. And talking about
it won't be hurtful, because the point is not
what he did, but what you did.

If you think he is unfaithful, make contingency
plans long before the proof.

Sure, you might be in the .0001% who has
misread, but I doubt it.

Once he's become irritable and everything
bothers him, and he is going out and not
returning until late, he is having an affair...
or...worse.

Whatever he tells you, whatever happens
next is not anything you need to hear or
experience.

Life doesn't come with an eraser.
What you are going to go through
is like a brakeless train...it doesn't
stop.

There is no reason to sit on that train
when you can jump before it picks up
speed.

Make your plans.

Sure this is a nice house...but after the
divorce what will happen? Will you
get half? Will you have to buy out his
half? Will he argue over the house for
months and months?

Will he be popping in whenever he feels
like it?

The most important thing is You and Your
life. Hence, it might be the most intelligent
thing to lose that house, so there is nothing
to fight over.

Further, if he gains visiting rights to the
children, isn't it better for him to be a
stranger in that neighbourhood, viewed with
suspicion, then being able to sit on Bob's
veranda and watch you?

Then to know that the big window doesn't
lock so he can come in and out as he pleases?

Most of the horror stories you'll hear concern
His House.

Intelligent women will give up the mansion for
the apartment, because peace of mind is far
more valuable.

If he tries to break into Your Apartment
the neighbours will call the police. And he
has No Rights there.

Your safety and peace of mind is more
valuable than Buckingham Palace.

#12 01-04-2007, 12:11 PM

In most of the horror stories, the man has broken into
the house he used to own or part owns and beaten, raped
the wife.

In most of the horror stories you will find the man
insanely angry over losing His House to Her.

A house is only an object. I could be knocked down
by a hurricane. Burnt in fire, shattered in an Earth
Quake.

It doesn't matter.

Fighting over a house, unless your husband is the
most civilised person, can be dangerous.

Yes, if he goes to divorce you and realises he'll
lose his house, it might stop him. But if you go
to divorce him, better to ask the Court to sell
the house and split the money fifty fifty so
that you can get on with your life.

Don't fight over anything in a divorce.

If there has to be joint custody, have it done
so that the children are picked up at a relatives
house and returned to that house.

You don't need him showing up at six am on your
doorstep, inviting himself in, etc.

Many men may claim to want custody, but their
gals don't. Having children around might cramp
his style. Don't argue. Let your lawyer argue,
say nothing.

He is looking for a hook into you.

So if you decide that you can't put up with
his adultery, unless the house was given to
you or you bought it or it is in your name...
leave it.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode