missymiss

i noticed a couple of weeks ago that my husband was acting funny he started hiding his phone erasing his messages so i confronted him about it and he blew it off telling me i was being crazy and hormonal from the pregnany. well one nite he sat me down and told me that he had cheated on me the only reason he told me though is because he found out the girl has chlamydia and he swore it was only one time the thing that made it worse is he works at the apartments we live at and while i thought he was out working hard he was at her house. well i decided to forgive him but i just couldnt get it out of my head that he was lying about how many times it happened so i told him that i had his phone records emailed to me and that i was going to read them i was going to give him a chance to come clean before i read them though. well he came clean and i found out that it had went on for a whole week and they were texting eachother all the time she even told him that she loved him after knowing him for only three days thank god he didnt tell her that back. my thing is hw says she didnt mean anything it was just a mistake but the things he texted her were calling her baby and telling her he misses her and stuff. i know he is not talking to her now but i cant get this out of my head i dont know what to do i love hom so much but i cant get the thought of him having his hands all over another woman out of my head he says he loves me and has cried and begged me not to leave him he says he will do anything for me to stay i just want some help from anyone to know if this is something i can get passed i want to i just see him with her everytime i close my eyes what makes it worse is i am 7 months pregnant with our third child we have been together for 6 years.

CHANDLERS WISH

I feel for you so much, but you seem to be worrying more about him cheating on you and how you feel about that, which is NORMAL, it hurts, there is pain your in pain...

This is a time for you to enjoy your pregnancy, 7 months not long to go and 6 years together, 3rd child this is sad I understand that and I am so sorry you had to even find this out, "cheating" that is and I am actually impressed of your maturity to state the obvious over the text messages and phone records.

What worries me is your missing the what he said, she has and now he has and how that can play a part on you, if you have had sex with him.


Take this seriously and regardless of your feelings for your husband and the "mistake" he made not using a condom let alone cheating on you, this is not something to take lightly.

Please speak to your Doctor immediately and get checked yourself...

Please do not sleep with him ( probably don't wan't to) but don't at this point in time until you know the whole facts and conditions about this disease..

CW

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missymiss

i have already been to the doctor and got tested and so has he. he is being treated i didnt have anything since he was sleeping with her and not me i just dont know how to handle the other stuff like if i should stay i am so tore up about everything i want to believe him but he has already lied twice about the whole thing please help

CHANDLERS WISH

Thank god. Is all I can say...

Well, sweet, he did lie (1 time) then it appears 1 week....

Alot of guys think , pftttt she's pregnant not giving as much and I can get it elsewhere so why not.

You know what I think?

Why?

If he loves and supports you there is no need for cheating he has got what he deserved, he cheated and now he is stuffed...

Yeah i sound angry but I am not... I just can't fathom someone doing this whilst his woman is pregnant... it's his child too and he's married.

This is something he can't get rid of ever.

This is something that he only admitted because he "had to" incase you were infected based on what I highlighted to you, and again thank god.

His admission would never ever had come to form if he didn't find out about what he had.

I think he doesn't respect his wife...

I think he doesn't deserve you.

I am trying to be careful as well because your pregnant and for sure your emotions are in play.

Do you really want to know check 6 years of phone records.

Look it could have been guy says not enough sex, my wife is pregnant she played and told him she loved him etc, he felt wanted, etc, and did the deed.

But, what i don't like is that he didn't tell you because he felt bad, he told you because of the decease that he know has.

If I was you, for the time being, i would kick him out and have your baby and then think clearly after that, after much, much, consideration and thinking.

I am again so sorry...

Truly... I am..

This just...............sucks.

CW

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It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told

Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!

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missymiss

i know i should leave him but i feel stuck i am about to have a baby with him our little girl is about to start school we live 5 hours away from any of my family i dont know anyone down here i never leave the house to make any friends i have no one to go to for help or advise i dont know what to do i am so depressed about this i want to be strong for my kids but i cant and they see that i am sad and upset i try to hide it from them but they know when something is wrong with mommy

lizzy_09

I think you should focus on your baby now. As for your husband, he got what he deserves and he's paying for it. You've got to give him some credit though, for telling you the truth even if it was because it taught him a lesson. Also for the reason that he told you this because he didn't want you to get infected. For the sake of your kids, try to see first if your relationship can be saved. I know it's difficult for you since your always haunted by what he has done as well as every time he does something wrong, you'll throw it at him even if it was unintentional. Anger always has a way of controlling our emotions and we say stuff that we'd later on regret. Ever tried couple's counseling?

missymiss

no but he does want to try counsling he said he is willing to do anything to keep me i just cant stop thinking that if he loved me so much how could he go be with her and then come home to me acting like nothing is wrong? thanks to everyone for your support i dont know how i am gonna get through this but hearing what other people have to say is helping me

Hopeless Dork

He gambled, and lost. He had UNPROTECTED sex... with a strange woman. One thing to cheat, one thing to do it so selfishly ..without thought or concern to the harm he could have done to you and his unborn child.

Thank God, he FOUND out... she had chylamidia... it can go undetected for months in some cases and had he passed it to you... well just thank God he didn't.

You are in a terrible position, 2 kids already and so far into your pregnancy that the thought of a change like leaving him is probably way too stressful to consider.

Get the counseling... don't just talk about getting it, get it. If you love him and want to work out - do that. But remember that you can only do so much, he has to do his part or more than his part to regain your trust and re-earn your respect.

Try to relax, the stress is not good for you right now, take care of yourself and your children and work on your marriage.

Perhaps he learned a lesson, perhaps this is his first mistake, we are all humans, it happens, it hurts. If you did not have kids and were not pregnant my advice would be to walk - why invest more time into someone so inconsiderate.

But that isn't the case. If you want to give him one more chance give it, and give it fully. Don't drive yourself crazy thinking about what happened, or worrying about it happening again. Forgive if you are going to forgive, for YOU... not for him, you know what I mean?

If this is a pattern that in any way continues, him cheating, him bringing home disease, you might be better off on your own than with that.

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Defintion of Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein

dr.mansview

totally agree with HD..can u EVER forgive him..u have to be honest with yourself

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Mrs Doodles

If my husband cheated on me he would be history A.S.A.P no matter how many kids i had or where i lived and my family live 70 miles away he would still be history can you trust him now? as i know i couldnt