sadmom

Hello i have been married for 22 years and have 4 children. 3 weeks ago my husband up and left me. He said that we didnt agree on anything and couldnt get along. I know that in the past 10 years we havent really gotten along. But I really do still love my husband he is all that I have known. I have children from ages 11-20 and they have continued to ask him where he is living so they could visit. He tells them they cant come over. He never tells where he is living. My childrne have also tried to call him several times and he doesnt answer. He calls once in a while and comes over to see them for 30 min. on weekends (long enough to tell them to cut grass and leave) he doesnt even say goodbye to them. He calls me on the phone daily and says what are you doing. He came home one sat, morning at 7am and stood over my bed looking at me. I woke up because i felt this. He said he came home to see kids but they were all sleeping. I have asked a attorney if I can change locks and she said no he is still paying morgate and can come in anytime. this last week end I found out that my husband has a web site called facebook.. Kind of like myspace. and has alot of people on it. I seen a woman i know on it that is living really close to where i think he is living. Little things are coming out about this woman. I found out he hired her to work for him 4 weeks ago. Today he told my boys he would take them to a ball game and said he had a surprize friend going. This womans daughtor is going with him and my boys. This is very disturbing. Why would he take her with my boys. I feel he is cheating and this is making me very sick to my stomach. I agree maybe we shouldnt be togther but this woman was a friend to us both and i feel violated. I have friends that tell me little things about her that keeps coming back to husband. I am so depressed I live 14 hours away from family and only people i have are my children. I dont knwo what to do. He keeps telling me to put house up for sale but I dont have anywhere else to go. I have been told I can get him on desertion but I dont think it will mater. I just dont know where to start. I am having great difficulty working and keeping my head straight. My husband is threating to stop paying all my bills which mean my kids and I will be thrown out on the street. I am so confused please help with any advice. We both want to end this and be very cival but I am starting to think it wont work he is getting very angry and yelling . I keep a daily journal on phone calls and my feelings this helps but I dont know what to do. I cry all the time I cant sleep or eat. I feel so alone.

CHANDLERS WISH

Hey....

It's good that you keep a daily journal, ensure you write everything down in it.

Have you at least told your family? Do you have close friends who can be there for you?

It's not right for him to enter the house, he left.. Don't accept his daily calls you don't need this, you need to heal.. If he can't be bothered talking to the children, his children then he has no right to ask you how your day is, your feeding him so stop that bit straight away.

He wants you to sell the house so he doesn't have to pay bills and mortgage, you seriously need to engage an attorney, there will be a settlement and some attorneys will take payment at the end...

I am so sorry it's hard enough to lose a long term marriage even if you know/knew it was over ages ago but it's hard when gossip starts.

Remember, it is gossip, she could in fact have just be-friended him through his whoas..

Like most long term relationships we forget our worth, we forget our passions and things that we love doing.. You work, come home, clean, cook, etc and that's your life.

Not anymore...

You tell him he has to take the children 11 year old or come and babysit because your going out and go.... make plans..

At this point, he can not have it all his own way and that appears to be what he is doing.

He's also badgering you so that you sell... He knows that your sad, you feel alone, the more he pushes he's hoping he will get it all his way.

That's not fair either.

I am not saying cause rifts at all, but I am saying equality is what life is about, together or not.

CW

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dr.mansview

by taking the daughter to the ball game he is looking 4 approval from the boys..he's obviously not going to get it from you..this is tough 4 you..hang in there and talk to someone..even if it is here..

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Hopeless Dork

Get yourself an attorney immediately. Let them tell you how to proceed... he should not be able to walk out on you and 4 kids and stop paying you bills and telling you what to do with the house, etc. Get that attorney asap.

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Defintion of Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein