my husband lies to me

**OhThereYouAre** · 08-06-2009 07:16 AM

My father just quit smoking 2 weeks ago.

He started in his 50's when he started dating a younger woman who smoked.

He's one of the strongest people I know....and he found it hard to quit cold-turkey.

It took my nagging, his sister's nagging, and finally, his Dr.'s nagging to get him where he is.

It's tough. Good luck.

**spaghetti** · 08-16-2009 11:20 PM

ok, well, we have tried many avenues for him to quit. recently, he wanted to purchase this new drug called chasix?? supposedly it will kick in and he wont have the urge to smoke, ever. by the way, he still has a bottle of welbutrin at home. anyhow, so, the chasix bottle is going to cost him $200, and right now, with him working, and me in school, we just cant afford that. so, he decided to go with welbutrin, but another form of it?? newer version of it?? not sure what would be different. anyhow, it will cost him $30. so, while he still has the bottle at home, i suggested he start taking the one at home, before buying a new welbutrin. he agreed. and i have been very supportive, we have talked about this, i did talk to him about his health, i gave him info. he has gotten the numbers for the "support" thing, etc etc. the other day, when i dropped him off near his job, i saw him walk into a convenient store. i called him, no answer. he called me and said that he needed to use the restroom. i said i saw you buy a pack from the guy, he denied it, i said dont lie to me, and that i saw him, and basically long story short, cuz it was a long one, he admitted to buying the pack. after the argument, we hung, rather i hung up on him. he called back 10 min. later saying that he gave the pack to a random guy. i didnt believe it at first, but he assured me that he felt guilty and bad etc etc, and decided to give it to someone else. i felt better. so, anyhow, i asked him if hes been taking welbutrin and he says he has, but then why is he still buying packs??? jeez. i dont know what to do, this is one thing i cant stand about him. i was angry when i labeled him a "loser" but, i honestly think i made a mistake in marrying him. hes not the loser, i am.

**WildChild** · 08-16-2009 11:46 PM

Over the years the tobacco companies have worked to develop tobacco that is far more addictive than it once was. Now they are selling products of that process as a series of progressively lower nicotine cigarettes to help you wean yourself off the addiction. I don't know if this is a good idea or not. I quit about 25 years ago and still want one occasionally and I'm horribly allergic to the things! They are insidious. I haven't touched one since I finally quit, but I did quit three times before I managed to really do it.

I found cutting back was self defeating. I had to simply decide to do it, throw them away, and then change a host of habit and behaviors associated with smoking to break the pattern. I quit drinking because it was to habitual to have a smoke and a drink and the alcohol lowers resistance and lessens the irritation from the smoke. Instead of a cigarette after eating, I walked around the block. I crocheted several afghans and embroidered. Break the pattern of behavior and association.
The drugs either replace one source of nicotine with another or one drug with another. I don't see that as positive.

**GlitterAndStuds** · 08-18-2009 06:52 AM

I think the main thing is, like everyone else says, is to have some patience and be supportive of him. I myself just quit smoking cigarettes, um...yesterday. Haha. And while it hasn't been so bad for me, I always hear how hard it is for people to quit, especially if they've been doing it for a really long time. I've heard it described as a "loss", if you will, because it's something that you get used to for stress relief, habit, whatever it may be. Most of the time, at least for me, I would get really stressed about something and be like "GOD I need a butt!" and yes, the nicotine fix does help for a few minutes. Either that or it's just a placebo affect type thing. My point here though is, if he's always getting the third degree about it then it's going to stress him out and he's just going to keep reaching for them. I know that if it was me and someone was grilling me about it all the time, I'd just keep smoking to them off. The key here is patience, it's not something that he can miraculously do overnight. It took me weeks of cutting back before I stopped altogether. Maybe he IS on wellbutrin, but that stuff isn't magic either, he's going to have cravings still if he just started it. The key here is patience. Have some faith in him, ask him how things are going in a calm manner, let him know you're there for him. My SO hated that I smoked but he only bugged me once in a while, and right now he is being nothing but supportive which I really appreciate. And trust me, your husband will appreciate that too.

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