My husband went on a week long vacation without me!

bronzebunny · 08-09-2009, 04:07 PM

Who does this?! How can he go on a vscation without his family or at the very least me? There were just too many reasons why we as a family could not make the annual family vacation, so at the last minute he decided to go alone. Granted this is his familys tradition of the annual vaca. to the beach. Just feeling a bit hurt...even though I did say " you go" if it means that much to you. Never thinking he would leave me and our 6 month old baby for a week! WTF???

**Joy** · 08-09-2009, 04:25 PM

It is understandable that you are a lil hurt but you did say "you go" if it means that much to you. It obviously did mean something to him so it backfired in your face.

If you need some time alone plan a girl weekend and he can stay home for the weekend and you go with a sister or girl friends away.

Try to be happy for him without being to sad for yourself.

**starjoy08** · 08-09-2009, 08:19 PM

OK, so that is messed up. I am a newly wed and I can understand the fear and frustration. But be honest with yourself and him. If you said "you go", that is what he heard and I don't think that is what you meant. Boys are weird and funny like that. Good Luck

**happy ending** · 08-09-2009, 08:45 PM

perhaps he needed some time out, just to get his head together. and as you said to "go" thinks he has your permission. perhaps at another time you could take some time out just to even things up.
hope everything is not to stressful for you

**OhThereYouAre** · 08-10-2009, 08:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by starjoy08

OK, so that is messed up. I am a newly wed and I can understand the fear and frustration. But be honest with yourself and him. If you said "you go", that is what he heard and I don't think that is what you meant. Boys are weird and funny like that. Good Luck

LOL - she says to go and he does...now she's ticked, and BOYS are weird?

**WildChild** · 08-10-2009, 08:33 AM

ROTHFLMAO Absolutely, I guarantee all the women know what she means!

**Ahryin** · 08-10-2009, 11:28 AM

Yes I agree..lol I have seen this many times with my brothers and I've even done it when we as woman get upset we just say things with hidden meanings behind them Not realizing that men take it at face value. If you said "you go" anything you said previously or after was not heard...he heard "you go" and immediately started making plans in his mind on how he was going to accomplish it. That doesn't mean he doesn't miss you, or miss the baby. My advice is to bond with the baby while he is away. When he comes back be happy for him, show you are happy for him.
Mean deal with STress differently than woman, this might actually benefit the household and allow him to get his emotions together and plans together. I suggest you do the same. I'm a single mom and I know how hard it can be at time, but it can also be GREAT!

Here are some things you can do even if you are strapped for cash...

1. Check out the nearest massage school they often have clinics where you and the baby can get full body massages for more than half off!

2. Its nice and warm out put some sun block on that baby and take a relaxing pic nic, the fresh air will be great for baby and help baby sleep better that night plus baby will love the feeling of grass etc on his/her little precious feet

3. If you have cable they offer free baby classes "on demand" where you and baby can learn and play

4. Take a bath with baby, massage baby with lavender lotion or oil, feed and put baby to sleep then get some well needed ME TIME!!!

The list can truthfully be endless but put that anger behind you...life is to short sweetie

**LanaBear** · 08-10-2009, 12:03 PM

Communication! You have to say what you mean and mean what you say. Don't tell him something and expect him to get your underlying meaning, for some reason they never do (I'm just kidding to all you men reading this!). We are very confusing creatures, but you just got to be honest with him when he asks.

I personally don't see the problem with him going with his family on vaca, especially if you didn't want to go or couldn't go. My DH has done things without me and vice versa. He's done fishing and hunting trips, gone backpacking with friends, etc. There's times I just can't or don't want to go, no biggie.

Don't be angry with him, he just did what you told him he could do. Enjoy yourself and your baby, they grow quickly!

**torn2pieces** · 08-10-2009, 03:54 PM

Next it's your turn, do you have anyone you would like to visit out of town?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-10-2009, 06:23 PM

LOL..

That's venting for you.

Ahhh sweet, absense makes the heart grow fonder.

Run a bath, light some candles, put some rose petals in it.

Call your friends, have a girls movie night at your house....

Take the baby and go for a drive and see something you haven't seen before...

When he gets back tell him all the fun and excitement YOU had... and that you missed him..

You told him to go, lol and so he has...

Let him come back and see that your self efficient and actually had a good time yourself.

CW

08-09-2009, 04:07 PM	#1
bronzebunny Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 20	My husband went on a week long vacation without me! Who does this?! How can he go on a vscation without his family or at the very least me? There were just too many reasons why we as a family could not make the annual family vacation, so at the last minute he decided to go alone. Granted this is his familys tradition of the annual vaca. to the beach. Just feeling a bit hurt...even though I did say " you go" if it means that much to you. Never thinking he would leave me and our 6 month old baby for a week! WTF???

08-10-2009, 11:28 AM	#7
Ahryin Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: NY Posts: 662 Blog Entries: 4	Yes I agree..lol I have seen this many times with my brothers and I've even done it when we as woman get upset we just say things with hidden meanings behind them Not realizing that men take it at face value. If you said "you go" anything you said previously or after was not heard...he heard "you go" and immediately started making plans in his mind on how he was going to accomplish it. That doesn't mean he doesn't miss you, or miss the baby. My advice is to bond with the baby while he is away. When he comes back be happy for him, show you are happy for him. Mean deal with STress differently than woman, this might actually benefit the household and allow him to get his emotions together and plans together. I suggest you do the same. I'm a single mom and I know how hard it can be at time, but it can also be GREAT! Here are some things you can do even if you are strapped for cash... 1. Check out the nearest massage school they often have clinics where you and the baby can get full body massages for more than half off! 2. Its nice and warm out put some sun block on that baby and take a relaxing pic nic, the fresh air will be great for baby and help baby sleep better that night plus baby will love the feeling of grass etc on his/her little precious feet 3. If you have cable they offer free baby classes "on demand" where you and baby can learn and play 4. Take a bath with baby, massage baby with lavender lotion or oil, feed and put baby to sleep then get some well needed ME TIME!!! The list can truthfully be endless but put that anger behind you...life is to short sweetie __________________ Everything I'm not makes me Everything I am

08-10-2009, 12:03 PM	#8
LanaBear Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Moon Lander Champion! Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: A cozy little cottage on the moon. :-) Posts: 1,671 Blog Entries: 5	Communication! You have to say what you mean and mean what you say. Don't tell him something and expect him to get your underlying meaning, for some reason they never do (I'm just kidding to all you men reading this!). We are very confusing creatures, but you just got to be honest with him when he asks. I personally don't see the problem with him going with his family on vaca, especially if you didn't want to go or couldn't go. My DH has done things without me and vice versa. He's done fishing and hunting trips, gone backpacking with friends, etc. There's times I just can't or don't want to go, no biggie. Don't be angry with him, he just did what you told him he could do. Enjoy yourself and your baby, they grow quickly! __________________ Sometimes life isn't the party we hoped for, but since we're here, we might as well DANCE!

08-10-2009, 06:23 PM	#10
CHANDLERS WISH WH Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 9,932 Blog Entries: 7	LOL.. That's venting for you. Ahhh sweet, absense makes the heart grow fonder. Run a bath, light some candles, put some rose petals in it. Call your friends, have a girls movie night at your house.... Take the baby and go for a drive and see something you haven't seen before... When he gets back tell him all the fun and excitement YOU had... and that you missed him.. You told him to go, lol and so he has... Let him come back and see that your self efficient and actually had a good time yourself. CW __________________ Do we not realise that in order to find a soul It doesn't happen over night if truth were to be told Like everything in life that's hard to achieve you must believe! Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

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08-09-2009, 04:25 PM	#2
Joy Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 625 Blog Entries: 5	It is understandable that you are a lil hurt but you did say "you go" if it means that much to you. It obviously did mean something to him so it backfired in your face. If you need some time alone plan a girl weekend and he can stay home for the weekend and you go with a sister or girl friends away. Try to be happy for him without being to sad for yourself.

08-09-2009, 08:19 PM	#3
starjoy08 VIP Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: In the Alabama area Posts: 60 Blog Entries: 1	OK, so that is messed up. I am a newly wed and I can understand the fear and frustration. But be honest with yourself and him. If you said "you go", that is what he heard and I don't think that is what you meant. Boys are weird and funny like that. Good Luck

08-09-2009, 08:45 PM	#4
happy ending Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: western australia Posts: 655	perhaps he needed some time out, just to get his head together. and as you said to "go" thinks he has your permission. perhaps at another time you could take some time out just to even things up. hope everything is not to stressful for you

08-10-2009, 08:33 AM	#6
WildChild Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 6,232 Blog Entries: 5	ROTHFLMAO Absolutely, I guarantee all the women know what she means!

08-10-2009, 03:54 PM	#9
torn2pieces VIP Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Kansas City, MO Posts: 62	Next it's your turn, do you have anyone you would like to visit out of town?

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