Husband has left me

jaymom · 08-10-2009, 12:15 PM

Husband of 7 years been together 11 has left me. He has been married 3 times i am the third. We had been having problems but not serious enough to just walk with no counseling. He told he was tired of been married. He has been married most of his life. Oh yeah, we do have an 3 1/2 year old. He walked out 4 weeks ago and was very cold and callous like it was my fault. he would not answer his phone when i wanted to talk or even when his son ask me where's daddy, which breaks my heart everytime i hear those words. he is in his mid fortys. i personally think he is going through a mid life crisis. my heart is so broken. The last time i felt this way when my brother died. He has had an affair since we separated. which wasn't long. he called me the other night crying and upset how he treated me the way he did. and that i didn't deserve any of this. and that he loves me very much. I started counseling today in hopes to put this in some kind of spectrum. My little boy is is my whole life right now. thanks for reading

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-10-2009, 06:32 PM

Hi jaymom.

Sorry your going through this and I am so glad that your getting councelling.

If he is in his mid 40's and has been married three times, had an affair, cried and said sorry even though he was separated from you at the time, he has a major problem with the word commitment.

Some guys just can't do it... they need their freedom of self... yet they can't live without a woman either, but they just can't get it right.

He does need to understand what marriage is about, it's not about being lonely and therefore, having a wife there to do the washing, cooking, and being there when he needs, it's about two people together .... and off course your baby.

I would at this point, let him stay away...

Work on yourself, your important.

CW

**Joy** · 08-10-2009, 07:30 PM

so sorry you are going thru this.... good job go to counselling and get yourself right so you feel good for yourself and your baby. Your husband has to look within for these answer of not wanting to be married its not about you its him so don't take that one as you. He may need to reevaluate his life and need some space to sort things out. Maybe he has never taken the time to heal from any of these broken marriages.

Its just caught up with him finally and he will have to deal with it before he is any good for you and his son.

I wish much peace for you and your son ~

LuC · 08-11-2009, 07:30 AM

Jaymom,

I'm sorry to say and i may be wrong but it sounds to me like your husband may have been having an afair before he left you. Work on you and keep you and your son safe, I can't begin to imagine what you are going thru but he does not deserve you.

Take care and God bless

**OhThereYouAre** · 08-11-2009, 07:59 AM

Good for you, Love.

Like you said, your child is your number one priority. Make sure not to bad mouth the father while he's away no matter how unscrupulous he is.

Some guys/gals just can't do it - and you can't change em. They want their cake, and they want to eat it too.

He's going to want to come back. Mark my words. Once he realizes *again* that the grass isn't always greener. It's up to you whether or not you want to put up with this again.

Pick up the pieces and move on. Counselling is a good start. Best of luck to you.

08-10-2009, 12:15 PM	#1
jaymom Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 3	Husband has left me Husband of 7 years been together 11 has left me. He has been married 3 times i am the third. We had been having problems but not serious enough to just walk with no counseling. He told he was tired of been married. He has been married most of his life. Oh yeah, we do have an 3 1/2 year old. He walked out 4 weeks ago and was very cold and callous like it was my fault. he would not answer his phone when i wanted to talk or even when his son ask me where's daddy, which breaks my heart everytime i hear those words. he is in his mid fortys. i personally think he is going through a mid life crisis. my heart is so broken. The last time i felt this way when my brother died. He has had an affair since we separated. which wasn't long. he called me the other night crying and upset how he treated me the way he did. and that i didn't deserve any of this. and that he loves me very much. I started counseling today in hopes to put this in some kind of spectrum. My little boy is is my whole life right now. thanks for reading

08-10-2009, 06:32 PM	#2
CHANDLERS WISH WH Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 9,910 Blog Entries: 7	Hi jaymom. Sorry your going through this and I am so glad that your getting councelling. If he is in his mid 40's and has been married three times, had an affair, cried and said sorry even though he was separated from you at the time, he has a major problem with the word commitment. Some guys just can't do it... they need their freedom of self... yet they can't live without a woman either, but they just can't get it right. He does need to understand what marriage is about, it's not about being lonely and therefore, having a wife there to do the washing, cooking, and being there when he needs, it's about two people together .... and off course your baby. I would at this point, let him stay away... Work on yourself, your important. CW __________________ Do we not realise that in order to find a soul It doesn't happen over night if truth were to be told Like everything in life that's hard to achieve you must believe! Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

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08-10-2009, 07:30 PM	#3
Joy Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 625 Blog Entries: 5	so sorry you are going thru this.... good job go to counselling and get yourself right so you feel good for yourself and your baby. Your husband has to look within for these answer of not wanting to be married its not about you its him so don't take that one as you. He may need to reevaluate his life and need some space to sort things out. Maybe he has never taken the time to heal from any of these broken marriages. Its just caught up with him finally and he will have to deal with it before he is any good for you and his son. I wish much peace for you and your son ~

08-11-2009, 07:30 AM	#4
LuC Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 28	Jaymom, I'm sorry to say and i may be wrong but it sounds to me like your husband may have been having an afair before he left you. Work on you and keep you and your son safe, I can't begin to imagine what you are going thru but he does not deserve you. Take care and God bless

08-11-2009, 07:59 AM	#5
OhThereYouAre Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Cincinnati Posts: 1,302	Good for you, Love. Like you said, your child is your number one priority. Make sure not to bad mouth the father while he's away no matter how unscrupulous he is. Some guys/gals just can't do it - and you can't change em. They want their cake, and they want to eat it too. He's going to want to come back. Mark my words. Once he realizes again that the grass isn't always greener. It's up to you whether or not you want to put up with this again. Pick up the pieces and move on. Counselling is a good start. Best of luck to you.