My questions is why is it that my husband always think things are just fine with us? My husband is a sports nut. Pretty much every sport is his sport; so that means sports year round. When he isn't watching sports he is playing video games. He has zero compassion or romance and he gets up set with me when I tell him he doesn't pay enough attention to me. About once a month (usually around my period) we argue about how much time we don't spend together. He thinks everything is fine and I feel unappreciated.

Is it wrong of me to be upset? Is this just a man thing? And are there non-obtrusive ways of getting him to come around to my way of thinking? Any suggestions would be helpful

The short answer...
no.

The long answer...

This is just one of a phylum of selfish
men who believe women are useful
appendages.

I saw a situation once in which husband
was piling into car with guys, and wife
was left behind, (she was supposed to
go with them to some match).

She figured that realising she'd been
left behind hubby would turn back so
stood and waited and waited...and
realised...
he didnt' even notice she wasn't
there.

I know that during the World Cup
I don't know or care about anyone or
anything...so understand exactly
how your husband can forget everyone
else doesn't exist.

But the World Cup is once every four
years for about two months.

During the rest of the time I do recognise
other people.

Your husband has taken it too far.
No reason to argue.

Either this is your life, or you go and
make a life for yourself.

You can get deeply involved in a hobby
a club a career so you won't notice that
he isn't noticing you, because you are
too busy to notice him.

I don't think it is wrong of you to be upset. In my opinion I think that everything should be in moderation. A little sports but then he has to make sure that he makes time for you. And the biggest thing is to not ignore you when he is watching sports. I hate when I think I am talking to my husband and then I realize that he isn't paying one bit of attention to me. I don't know if all me are like this but I am starting to see a trend and it is very disappointing. My best friend that I have been writing about seems very attentive and great but that could all change as we get comfortable as a couple, who knows. I am starting to wonder if there are any good guys out there at all. Well my only advice is to tell him (when there are no sports on) how you feel and how you want it to change but good luck with the change like Kaylar says, men never change and I am witnessing that with my husband of 8 years. I have know him 15 years and he has never changed and now that it has become more serious with us being separated he says he is willing to do anything to get us back together but I am having a hard time believing him. Good Luck to you and keep writing.

When it comes to Sports...
NOTHING TAKES PRIORITY OVER THE
WORLD CUP.

Nothing.

But that is once every four years
for two months.

I am sure no one in my family would
tolerate me having the permanent
fixation for 12 months out of 12 months
every year.

I can understand a sporting event...
a championship, a crucial game.

But not turning on the television to
watch every single sporting event
and everyone else is permanently
consigned to commercial breaks
half time or the time between
matches.

That is a level no one can tolerate.

So he is not changing.

I have to agree about the world cup...big soccer fan here. Anyway we have only been married a year and a half and i am afraid that his addictions (sports, work, reading articles on the internet) are only going to get worse and from the sounds of it from indecisive it does get worse.

We have been talking about it and a lot of times it ends in yelling, but sometimes i think i am getting through to him (like tonight he just did the dishes with out me asking). I guess it is just comforting to know that my guy isn't the only one who is oblivious to a woman's needs

I think that all guys are clueless to womens needs. I think we have to tell them what we want and if they are good men they will do whatever to takes to make us happy. Hopefully there are some good ones out there. Good luck.

When you are young, in that Romantic Period of imagination
you can't understand why women would want to visit women
friends when they could be with their beloved.

Then you get older and find that your women friends are
the only anchor to sanity, that 99.999% of husbands are
so clueless so 'other' that there is no sense in talking to
them. They are not interested.

In the 50s women were told to 'share' their husband's
interests, so you'd see women going fishing or hunting
or bowling or some kind of sport, pretending interest
just to be with him.

Today, that doesn't hold anymore.
And more and more the husband hasn't a clue how
far away his wife has drifted.

Men who take sports as an alternative to life...where
they have to watch every game...not follow 'a' team,
but everything...so it's basketball and hockey and
American football and its baseball and whatever it is,
it takes priority, well, any woman that is hanging around
without something else going on in her life...well...I mean
do you really want that?

My family can put up with my addiction to World Cup
because from August 2006 until June 2010 I am available.
I am there. As soon as FIFA'S Theme plays in 2010 I am
in another dimension, but after Brasil lift the trophy in
2010; I'm back...

But I don't think I could stand living with me if I had
to see every single match that is played by every
federation.