As i checked our phone bill he had been texting her for about 20 days straight especially while he was at work in the wee hours of the morning.He says it was all a joke regarding a conversation he had with her the one night he worked with her.took it with him everywhere--even when he was in the showeronly got to see two text messages because he had already erased them..but this one that i saw he had told her how he had woke up and thought of her and misses her.it's like he wants me to forget it ever happened because he says nothing happened.But it did.I am having such a hard time dealing with this i don't know what to do
Best scenario. He flirting non stop for 20 days in a row, carried the phone with him in the shower because he was hiding, the "flirting" from you, his wife.
Worse scenario. He has been having an affair behind your back, he misses her and thinks of her when he wakes up.
Middle scenario. He was "about" to have an affair.. So are you going to watch what goes on from here, whist it eats you away? You've already told him I assume, that you have checked the phone records so now he will / can get another gaget and you won't know.
It sounds to me that there is a drift between the pair of you.
You say he was making a joke, she worked with him, and it was late shift, which means you sleep alone quite often whilst he works late yes?
Marriages are "hard" to keep together, and even harder when you lead separate lives.
You have to sort of how you two can in-fact get the marriage where marriages should be, well are meant to be, content, happy, sexual, intimate, loving, giving, with laughter and spunk.
Only you know what's missing.
If he needs to change jobs then he needs to change jobs.
The issue is deeper than him cheating... It's that he will cheat again which ever scenario has been played out. He misses affection, love, attention...
And, what does he give you? How is he with you? When did you last go out on a date with your husband?
Work on the core of the issues, they are more important at this point in time, with our marriage to save it than what ever he has been texting.
If you want the marriage to last that is and continue till your old and grey.
I'm not standing up for him, by any means of the imagination.. Any form of cheating, is cheating. And, wrong.
He can not brush you aside as if your a bimbo.
He is doing that.
I think he's about to learn a few lessons somehow on why he may be Divorced if he doesn't shape up and work through this like a man.
That will scare the carp out of him.