Thread: What keeps your marriage together. Tell me the secret.

I believe I have found the right person I want to spend the rest of my life with. He is everything I could ever imagined in someone. He is sweet kind helpful loving forgiving and passionate about everything we do. In 2008 when he proposed.I realized what real love and what real sacrifice means to love someone else unconditionally. For better or worse. I am happy he's who he is and i wouldn't want him any other way.

Originally Posted by caterpillar79

Precisely!

But what does it take to keep that interest of 'growing and exploring together' alive all the days of your life as husband and wife?

Can we start making our list?

Absolutely make a list. What a great idea (wish I'd thought of it).
Each of you make a list of your goals in your marriage, and life in general, long term and short term. Put them together as one list of goals - coz it's a partnership - and stick it on the fridge. Then it is a focus. Just accept that goals and wishes change and you might agree to review the list every year or when a major event happens (such as a little caterpillar).
My wife calls this a "vision board". It's a list of goals made from pictures of what we want.

Now, number one rule for success.....COMMUNICATE. Be open, frank and honest about everything that niggles you and that delights you. Love and praise for good things, be understanding of the bad things.

Spend time together enjoying....car drives exploring new places, movies, dinners, time with mutual friends. Don't be hermits. But allow each other some acceptable time with own friends as well.

Make decisions together....house, cars, furniture. I even grocery shop with my wife (blah) but it is together time and we are making decisions together, even little ones.

And I go back to the list idea (I love that idea), have dreams and goals that are achievable and you both want, rather then just mozy on through life and what will be will be. As you achieve each goal you will feel great and appreciate the efforts taken to get there.

Try to stay IN LOVE. Different to just loving. Keep the romance with little unexpected things.

I have learned all this from experience as we all do, and you will too.
My first marriage failed after 17 years. When I look back I see....she chose the houses, I chose the cars. She did the shopping, cooking, laundry. I renovated. etc, etc. No communication. When angry, silence for days.
Now, sweet as can be.

Show this to your fiance and see his reaction. Let him be a part of it too.

At the end of the day, a happy wife means a happy husband!!!