Thread: need some advice

after 14 years of being married, im not happy. I try to tell myself things will change... My hubby has never been the sweet type, he can be verbally abrasive, not disrespectful. But what he doesn't realize that in doing so, he takes away the attraction i once had for him with every word. I have been there for him through thick and thin, problem stepchild, the birth of our own child. Being the caregiver when he wasn't working and above all putting up with his inattentivness when it comes to intimacy. I find myself more often feeling alone, pulling away from him. Yes he does take care of his financial obligations. I believe that being a parent you must speak with your child about the right and wrongs out there in the world, he believes that they will find out soon enough dont say anything. I cannot do that, if my child asks me a question i give it(brutal honesty). i am a liberated woman i have all my life taken care of myself and my parents coveted me about things when i was a tween. i only want whats best for our child. i find myself staying only because i dont want to shock our child, and our child is starting to realize how unhappy i really am. at the moment our house debt is more than its worth, so i would literally be walking away from our home with nothing.
i dont want to live the rest of my life feeling unloved, unwanted and un appreciated. i am currently involuntarily celibate. i feel so unwanted -i am an attractive, loving warm soul. i feel as if i am wasting the best years of my life staying married to him. There's no passion. I did speak to him about this 3 years ago, things did seem to get better, but we are back at square one again- i am usually this happy go lucky person, but i find myself often saddened about spending the future with him. just think when they to college all you have left is each other. If i feel this way now whats to become? Any advice ladies?