Clarify the difference between sexual addiction and infidelity

**Karma3** · 09-18-2009, 07:47 AM

This is just a general question because a few of the posts mention them. I mean, I can generally figure out in a nutshell the difference, but does anyone have specifics and examples as to how they are handled differently? Doesn't sexual addictions end up with infidelity? And doesn't infidelity that keeps reoccuring with men (or women) link back to sexual addiction possibly? There are lots of posts with women dealing with men like this and I was wondering if they have ever had answers as to why their men were like this and any success stories?

**Frustr8ed** · 09-18-2009, 09:04 AM

I think everyone's answer is going to be different because both of these are relative to one's personal beliefs. We all were designed with a desire for sex and everyone's desire is different. Who's to say when that desire crosses over to addiction. Addictions are simply a lack of self control.

Infidelity is completely defined by those in the relationship. For some it could be as simple as flirting with someone outside the relationship while others can go as far as brining others into the bedroom with full approval. Are they linked? In some cases yes but not always. Infidelity can be brought on simply by emotional neglect and have nothing to do with sex.

**rcoreyus** · 09-18-2009, 08:55 PM

I think that when you have an addition you know it. You may not admit it to someone else, but you know yourself. You feel driven, doing things because you can't stop, not because you want to. If you do something to make you happy it isn't an addition, if you do it to take away the pain it is.

**stressed** · 09-21-2009, 04:55 PM

Infidelity can occur whether the person committing it is addicted to sex or not. Sexual addiction can most likely lead to infidelity, because it is an addiction that requires medical treatment like any other addiction.

When someone constantly feels like s/he is not having enough sex it is likely that s/he will cheat. The point is that when the his/her partner doesn't understand this need, brushes it off and only waits for the moment he/she will be cheated on then I doubt we have a case of sexual addiction but more of a communication problem.

**Hopeless Dork** · 09-21-2009, 05:42 PM

It's not only sex addiction that leads to infidelity... a lot of time its chalked up to the significant other not paying enough attention to their partner, sexually and/or emotionally.

Even a woman without a sex addiction, who's husband never tells her she's pretty... and in fact harps on her appearance... etc.. isn't affectionate, doesn't hear what she has to say etc... if she meets a guy that compliments her ego and communicates with her... she might be lead astray -- same goes for men.

Meanwhile some people with sex addictions never physically cheat.. they chronically masturbate or run the bills up with porn rentals and subscribtions etc...

I think cheating, being able to go there is a character flaw that has nothing to do with addiction.

vishva8kumara · 09-23-2009, 12:11 PM

I'm a guy. I wish I could explain things honestly.

True that men likes sex a lot. It is just that men could have sex any day of the month and enjoy almost the same way. But honestly, it is much pleasurable to do it once every other day.

After the puberty, most men do masturbate and it is a normal thing. But there is a big difference in masturbating and having sex.

Addiction is bad when it becomes a hindrance to the daily life. But sex only improves the daily life. Sex makes a man's life better and lets him be calm throughout the day. If a man goes without sex (at least masturbate) for some time, they get anxious and easily irritated. it just takes off the tension and the heavy load out of the head.

Some people are not forward to talk about the issues about sex with their partners and seek answers by themselves. This leads to many problems. I personalty care about the please re of my partner more, so that she will think of my pleasure, making it a mutual pleasure and exchange of a gift. That way I know if she does not get enough pleasure, so I can do something before she does something for that.

**stressed** · 09-23-2009, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vishva8kumara

I'm a guy. I wish I could explain things honestly.

True that men likes sex a lot. It is just that men could have sex any day of the month and enjoy almost the same way. But honestly, it is much pleasurable to do it once every other day.

After the puberty, most men do masturbate and it is a normal thing. But there is a big difference in masturbating and having sex.

Addiction is bad when it becomes a hindrance to the daily life. But sex only improves the daily life. Sex makes a man's life better and lets him be calm throughout the day. If a man goes without sex (at least masturbate) for some time, they get anxious and easily irritated. it just takes off the tension and the heavy load out of the head.

Some people are not forward to talk about the issues about sex with their partners and seek answers by themselves. This leads to many problems. I personalty care about the please re of my partner more, so that she will think of my pleasure, making it a mutual pleasure and exchange of a gift. That way I know if she does not get enough pleasure, so I can do something before she does something for that.

May I just clarify that everything you said also applies to women. I'm going through such a phase myself and it's very difficult to keep a clear head due to this situation. But I agree with what you said, it's just something that applies to both sexes.

09-18-2009, 07:47 AM	#1
Karma3 VIP Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 62	Clarify the difference between sexual addiction and infidelity This is just a general question because a few of the posts mention them. I mean, I can generally figure out in a nutshell the difference, but does anyone have specifics and examples as to how they are handled differently? Doesn't sexual addictions end up with infidelity? And doesn't infidelity that keeps reoccuring with men (or women) link back to sexual addiction possibly? There are lots of posts with women dealing with men like this and I was wondering if they have ever had answers as to why their men were like this and any success stories?

09-21-2009, 05:42 PM	#5
Hopeless Dork Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: United States Posts: 1,238	It's not only sex addiction that leads to infidelity... a lot of time its chalked up to the significant other not paying enough attention to their partner, sexually and/or emotionally. Even a woman without a sex addiction, who's husband never tells her she's pretty... and in fact harps on her appearance... etc.. isn't affectionate, doesn't hear what she has to say etc... if she meets a guy that compliments her ego and communicates with her... she might be lead astray -- same goes for men. Meanwhile some people with sex addictions never physically cheat.. they chronically masturbate or run the bills up with porn rentals and subscribtions etc... I think cheating, being able to go there is a character flaw that has nothing to do with addiction. __________________ ------------- Defintion of Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein

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09-18-2009, 09:04 AM	#2
Frustr8ed VIP Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 39	I think everyone's answer is going to be different because both of these are relative to one's personal beliefs. We all were designed with a desire for sex and everyone's desire is different. Who's to say when that desire crosses over to addiction. Addictions are simply a lack of self control. Infidelity is completely defined by those in the relationship. For some it could be as simple as flirting with someone outside the relationship while others can go as far as brining others into the bedroom with full approval. Are they linked? In some cases yes but not always. Infidelity can be brought on simply by emotional neglect and have nothing to do with sex.

09-18-2009, 08:55 PM	#3
rcoreyus March 2008 "Poster of the Month" Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: SF bay area Posts: 1,334	I think that when you have an addition you know it. You may not admit it to someone else, but you know yourself. You feel driven, doing things because you can't stop, not because you want to. If you do something to make you happy it isn't an addition, if you do it to take away the pain it is.

09-21-2009, 04:55 PM	#4
stressed Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Europe Posts: 147	Infidelity can occur whether the person committing it is addicted to sex or not. Sexual addiction can most likely lead to infidelity, because it is an addiction that requires medical treatment like any other addiction. When someone constantly feels like s/he is not having enough sex it is likely that s/he will cheat. The point is that when the his/her partner doesn't understand this need, brushes it off and only waits for the moment he/she will be cheated on then I doubt we have a case of sexual addiction but more of a communication problem.

09-23-2009, 12:11 PM	#6
vishva8kumara Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 10	I'm a guy. I wish I could explain things honestly. True that men likes sex a lot. It is just that men could have sex any day of the month and enjoy almost the same way. But honestly, it is much pleasurable to do it once every other day. After the puberty, most men do masturbate and it is a normal thing. But there is a big difference in masturbating and having sex. Addiction is bad when it becomes a hindrance to the daily life. But sex only improves the daily life. Sex makes a man's life better and lets him be calm throughout the day. If a man goes without sex (at least masturbate) for some time, they get anxious and easily irritated. it just takes off the tension and the heavy load out of the head. Some people are not forward to talk about the issues about sex with their partners and seek answers by themselves. This leads to many problems. I personalty care about the please re of my partner more, so that she will think of my pleasure, making it a mutual pleasure and exchange of a gift. That way I know if she does not get enough pleasure, so I can do something before she does something for that.