husband getting msgs on mobile

**fiona82collin** · 09-29-2009 04:14 PM

Hi!
We have been married for one year.we had some trust issues because of his interest in dating sites and porn.When I found his having girlfriends on interenet with whom he used to talk about sex and all..we had many arguments after which he promised me that he would never go to these sites again.
Now today ,I found a message from a videochat site on his mobile.I asked him about this and he told that he was about to tell me that he was getting such messages from 2-3 days and he had tried to unsubscribe these.
He told that it was probably through a massage parlour which he had tried to contact few weeks back.Does this sound true?I am in no position to judge because I don't trust whatever he says! Is it possible for some massage parlour to give your phone no to such site?
This is disturbing me a lot.Please help me..I don't want to remain ignorant too.
Is there any way to find the truth?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-29-2009 06:41 PM

Absolutely, if when he registered he provided his mobile number in that registration which some ask for because they like to tempt you to continue logging in, they will send messages via text.. You do have to un-subscribe.

So sit with him on the Computer if you feel un-trusting and say "let's do it together then" and let him log in, go to his account and un-subscribe.

He in my "opinion" from what you are saying, "found a message from a videochat site", and then "massage parlour", may mean that some on the videochat site, are prostitutes and as such, he could have clicked "ok" for other sites or contacts of that site, to contact him as well.

CW

**happy ending** · 09-29-2009 09:07 PM

why did he try to contact a massage parlour, is that a brothel? i think you do have serious issues, especially after a year of marriage. have you tried counselling either together or just you by yourself? good luck.

**fiona82collin** · 09-30-2009 03:24 PM

Originally Posted by happy ending

why did he try to contact a massage parlour, is that a brothel? i think you do have serious issues, especially after a year of marriage. have you tried counselling either together or just you by yourself? good luck.

I don't know what exactly truth is,but he told me that he wanted to have a body massage which his friends have told is very relaxing.I know that couple and they are decent.I didn't knew that people run brothels through them also until I searched for them at internet today.
Yes,we had serious issues in past and I had asked my husband for us to go for counselling,but then my in-laws came and had a talk with him.He assured me after that it was momentary weakness and he didn't want to break this marriage and will make it work! I had told him at that time that once trust is gone it would be very difficult to build up relationship like that again and he will have to maintain transparency in whatever he does.
I know a year is a big time but now I have made up myself strong emotionally.He knows that if he makes mistake again I will leave.And beleive me it took a lot of time and effort from me to build up this confidence.

**baja** · 09-30-2009 07:42 PM

I think there is probably nothing harder in life than regaining trust. It sounds like you have made your expectations crystal clear and he knows the consequences of failing a second time. I believe in second chances and you have given him the benefit of the doubt.

However, if he can't get a grip on this it will certainly lead to something more hurtful in the future. If it happens, I'd definitely pull the rip-cord and parachute out of the relationship. The first year of marriage should be wonderful and to have serious issues hints at potential incompatibility.

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