Thread: Dazed and confused.

Hmm... what if he's not bi? Or if he is, how do you know for certain that he doesn't like guys more than girls? You said that everyone knows he's bi so why doesn't he just admit to it... but what if the real issue is that he's realizing that he's more on the gay side than on the bi side, and he's afraid of the repurcussions? Perhaps, as you've said, he does love you, but he's realizing that he's not 'in love' with you because he's tasted what it's like to be with men and it's just more fulfilling? The fact that you haven't had sex in several months would raise a red flag for me... again, now that he's experienced something else, he just can't fake the fact that he doesn't enjoy it?

I'm also wondering if he's trying to push you to break up with him so he won't be the bad guy and he won't have to come clean to the real truth on his orientation?

Obviously I'm just guessing based on what you've said, and there could be much more to the story that would change things. He could also be developing a relationship with one of these guys too, and may feel confused and unsure of what that means, and where his current relationship fits in to all that.

You might just try to talk to him, gently, openly... just ask him what's going on without accusing him of anything or being angry. You just want to know... want to help... neither of you want to be in a relationship that is in a bad place... and maybe he's confused or unsure or afraid of the consequences and would need some encouragement from you to start talking.

Thank you for your input. I am now at the point we cant even communicate without a huge fight. I have a feeling he is more gay than bi. I am still ok with that. I just want honesty in our relationship and he cant be honest. His friends cant wait to tell me what is going on, I dont ask they just call and tell me.
I have tried to talk to him about what I feel, but he doesnt want to hear it. Then he wants to accuse me of cheating on him. I am staying at a friends house and he is mad cuz his friends are helping me.
I just dont know how to reach him any more. And I feel stranded as he moved me from my career, my family, my friends, and my home. I really thought that he was who I would be with for the rest of my life. Now he just pushes me away and shuts me out. Which of course makes me shut down as I am trying to keep from getting too hurt myself.
I really love this guy and it hurts so much that he has shut me out. I just dont know how to reach him.
sorry about rambling on and on.

What's it like when you have another guy in the bedroom? Does your boyfriend do anything sexually with the other man or does he just like having another naked guy around?

It could be that he himself can't accept that he's gay and doesn't want to talk about it even if you and others tell him that it'd be fine for him to be gay. Accusing you of cheating sounds like a diversion tactic that's meant to draw the attention away from him.

When we have another guy he says it just cuz he wants to watch me have sex with him, but he likes to suck the guy and be sucked. He hasnt ed or been ed in my presence but I know he wants to. We have toys and he likes a dildo in his , but I like to be DP'd so its ok. I just cant understand why he cant be honest and why he pushed me away. I was totally ok with it, I just asked that he doesnt cheat and go behind my back.
He talks alot about the times he was with other guys, when he was younger, which is why I think he is more toward gay then bi. I think he has to portray this macho image as he wants his daddy's approval. I have lots of friends that are gay and I dont care, I even had a lesbian lover at one point. Altho I couldnt do her, I did let her do me. I know that was very one sided, but she like the conquest of having an affair with a straight girl..
I just dont know how to reach my BF without turning it into a big arguement. I still love him and I want to be with him. I just feel that it is all one sided and that I am a big idiot cuz he isnt ever going to love me back. I think he wanted me as a cover for what he truely is, but then why push me away?