caterpillar79

I think women just respond to men's cues. We are generally emotional beings and we respond to what touches the heart, while men respond to what stimulates their vision. If a woman feels neglected emotionally, she won't be able to reciprocate nor initiate sexually. What do you think, ladies?

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Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning how to dance in the rain.

blondie80

Cat, you just said perfectly what i was trying to say! Well done as well when men look at women visually they can see the same woman two different ways and she is always going to look more attractive if she is happy and a little confident at least. So I guess it probably goes in a cycle as most things do.

OhThereYouAre

Seems as though we agree.

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'If you think you can or you can't, you're probably right..."

"It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit..."

"People who lack the sense to question Big Lies always end up in deep trouble..."

"I don't worry about pointing fingers in the past...i operate under the assumption that every saint has a past and every sinner has a future..."

"Build the life you want and then find someone to share it with, someone who fits where you are and where you are going..."

OhThereYouAre

Ugh, i'm sorry....just to clarify, my lady friend, I wasn't calling anyone out...simply playing devil's advocate. No need to explain yourself to me.

Perhaps strong wording...but the point was valid.

I'll never understand why presenting the EXACT opposite view of something someone posted to display personality, rather than gender flaws is viewed as unfair.

Fact is...many PEOPLE will act differently during the onset of a relationship. Only to revert to their actual selves once they become comfortable.

__________________
'If you think you can or you can't, you're probably right..."

"It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit..."

"People who lack the sense to question Big Lies always end up in deep trouble..."

"I don't worry about pointing fingers in the past...i operate under the assumption that every saint has a past and every sinner has a future..."

"Build the life you want and then find someone to share it with, someone who fits where you are and where you are going..."

Loveshoes

Fair enough. I completely understand your point. And I never understand why it is that people don't behave as themselves. They have to know that its bound to blow up when the person you're with finds out you aren't who you appeared to be at all. My dh started out opening the car door for me, okay, well any door for that matter. To this day, he still does that. Many of the things he used to do he still does. I love that about him. I get the distinct feeling that OTYA, you may very well be that type of person as well.

No harm intended...and I didn't want that to sound like I was blowing up at you. I didn't take any offense to that, just wanted to point out that there are some that don't. If the guy is willing to put in time to make that emotional connection to the lady and keep it that way, she is much more apt to stay focused on him and his needs as well.

Thank you OTYA...always a gentlemen and easy to get along with. **Smooches**

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caterpillar79

Reverting to the REAL self...that is an interesting point, OTYA. So let's get to business...Generally, based on honest observations - who gets to revert first: the man or the woman?

__________________
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning how to dance in the rain.

OhThereYouAre

Really? Now what positive discussion could come from that query?

__________________
'If you think you can or you can't, you're probably right..."

"It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit..."

"People who lack the sense to question Big Lies always end up in deep trouble..."

"I don't worry about pointing fingers in the past...i operate under the assumption that every saint has a past and every sinner has a future..."

"Build the life you want and then find someone to share it with, someone who fits where you are and where you are going..."

caterpillar79

Well, we all have to admit that once we are in a relationship, sooner or later, we'll get more comfy and so, will let our guard down, and be more ourselves. I am trying to figure though whether more women are doing it first, or the opposite. C'mon, OTYA...I know you're the devil's advocate. It's OK.

__________________
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning how to dance in the rain.

OhThereYouAre

I beg to differ.

I hold myself to the same, if not higher standard now that I'm in a committed relationship.

Instead of just owing my appearance and conduct to myself, I owe it to someone very derserving of my best.

__________________
'If you think you can or you can't, you're probably right..."

"It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit..."

"People who lack the sense to question Big Lies always end up in deep trouble..."

"I don't worry about pointing fingers in the past...i operate under the assumption that every saint has a past and every sinner has a future..."

"Build the life you want and then find someone to share it with, someone who fits where you are and where you are going..."

caterpillar79

You can beg. lol

I agree on that. We should always strive to be the best that our significant other deserves. I think, once we are in a relationship, we should not "settle". "Settle" - in the context of stagnating in terms of personal growth.

I would love for us to keep growing individually, in order to bring something to share to the table - something to nourish and strengthen our bond. Aren't relationships supposed to be this way?

__________________
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning how to dance in the rain.