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| Husband/Fiance Something with the hubbie that you want to share with others? Something great that you want to brag about, or possibly something that you would like to get off your chest? |
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LinkBack | Thread Tools | Display Modes |
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#1 |
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Junior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 3
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hi , well after 18 years together ,i found out on august 28th that my husband had been ib contact with his ex- girlfriend ( that have not been together for 20 years .) we we having problems in our marriage m and he was having work stress and didnt want to talk to me baout things. so he went to her in mid july and thru august to talk about our marriage and about me. I found out thru trusting my intuittion , adn looking in his work phone book and finding her email and phone number . became an dectective and put her cell phone in reverse cell phone directory and out pops her name. Well the nite i found out , my husband was at bingo tell 10 pm. i found out at 8pm , and emailed her and asked if she had been emaling my husband . Long story short she has been looking for him for 17 years . and she says htey are just friends. well on teh night of august 28th ,i confronted him , and he ilied and said that emtionally cheateing is not cheating, bull pucky i said. Well, long story short he said that he was ready to leave me , but decided against it. i ws pissed and wanted to cheat on him , but told him it was morally wrong ,i wanted to make his heart break , just like he did to mine. i cannot trust him, and we are working things out by going to marriage therapy , . Last night he told me that he regreted contacting her , but that it was good to hear from her after 17 years . what i said . opps then he realized what he said . We are learning to communicate better , and not to say things in haste , but i am having a hard time putting this behind me. he has not had contact with her since august . i strongly believe that a man cannot be friends with an ex- girlfriend , especially (spelling .) one who he has had sexual relations with when he is married ? am i wrong ? things are better , but it is going to take mea long time to trust him , and to get over what he did. anyone have similiar experiences or advice . thanks in advance s . walker
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#2 |
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Gold Contributor 500+ Posts
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: western australia
Posts: 655
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oh for goodness sake, they were together 20 years ago. you sound like you have a few issues. your hubby talks to an ex so you're ready to screw someone else. i am glad you are getting relationship counselling. in my opinion you sound very controlling and insecure.
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#3 |
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Gold Contributor 500+ Posts
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Emotional cheating is cheating, yes. But it doesn't sound like even that was going on. I'm pretty sure this was just a platonic thing, two people catching up. It's a good thing that you guys are getting marriage counseling because it does sound like there are some underlying issues that you need to work out. I don't see any reason to have not trusted him though. Sure, many of us prefer our SO not speaking to exes, but if they don't pose a threat then there's no need to worry. It doesn't sound to me like it was anything to worry too much about.
__________________
I've got to be direct
If I'm off please correct You're standing on my neck.... |
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#4 |
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Gold Contributor 500+ Posts
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: western australia
Posts: 655
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i so agree glitter. how can talking to an ex from 20 years ago, constitute emotional cheating. this is your life not a soap opera, if you love drama so much, maybe there is a vacancy on the days of our life writing team.
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#5 | ||||||
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WH Moderator
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Hun... Here's the short and long of it.
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That callous sweet... You don't consider hurting someone, when really you hurt yourself, you "snooped" and so, you got hurt.. All he did at that point in time was talk about his marriage. Your move should have been where are we going wrong babe? Quote:
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Walker... With counseling you will get allot of advice... Jealousy/snooping will be a no/no... Reasons for him needing someone to talk to will come out. Learn to Trust/Not be jealous/Love and Give...and accept back and this issue will never happen again. CW
__________________
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul It doesn't happen over night if truth were to be told Like everything in life that's hard to achieve you must believe! Register! | Rules/FAQ | Contact Mod |
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