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Thread: My Husband Cheated and I am 7 Months Pregnant

  1. #1
    Junior Member MarieA is on a distinguished road
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    Unhappy My Husband Cheated and I am 7 Months Pregnant

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    I 've been married for a little over a year now, but my husband and I have been together for 4 years.

    After we got married, we had problems because he was acting weird always wanted to go out and drink, and everything I wanted to do was to corney and not what he like doing.

    We married in August 2008 and in November 2008 he moved out because of our problems and he ask me for a divorce, it hurt me a lot but I figure if he wasn't happy there was no point in being together. He still looked for me and wanted us to work things out, yet not live together.

    In December he got pulled over and got DWI and a immigration hold because he is not a US CITIZEN. After his female boss "helped" us by paying the $7,500 dollar bond he was taken out of jail, and he moved back with me in January. 3-4 weeks after he told me he was moving out because we needed more money, and that I should go live with my mom.

    I didn't understand him, but because I loved him I said okay, so we continue having a relationship but not live together, which I hated I always asked him to come back, that we didn't need xtra money, that we could be together, etc.

    We always had problems because I was always told by friends, strangers, and family that he was sleeping with his boss. We fought he denied it, and that was it everything was okay for a day or two.

    In May without planning it I became pregnant it was the weirdest thing because of the fact that we don't live together I know what day I became pregnant, because intercourse was very limited between us.

    He was very happy I was pregnant, but still didn't want to live together.

    He said "oh i'll move after the ultrasound" Didn't then he said " Oh, I'll move after we go talk to a lawyer about my green card" because I was going to file a petition for him so he won't get deported in April.

    Well he didn't move even after we talk to the attorney.

    I always cried and told him how much I needed him, especiallly because I was alone during my first pregnancy.

    He never wanted to move in always had lame excuses, and said that I had everything I wanted because he would always give me money and buy me things.

    Well Last Saturday after my baby shower, which he didn't attend I asked him to see the baby gifts with me, and he said he was too tired.

    Later, I received a call and was told he was at his place of work (which is a bar and grill) and that he arrived with his boss. Well tired of the rumors I changed and went there and saw him.

    I yelled at him and called him names for being such a liar.

    His boss later came up and asked what was going on.

    I told her that I was pregnant and my husband shouldn't be there. She told me " You just notice? For the last 9 months he has been living with me, and apperently lying to both of us because he told me he had nothing to do with you"

    That is such a lie because everyone that he works with knows he is married and that we're expecting a child and she claims that she didn't know.

    I am so hurt>> He hasn't even said sorry it's been 6 days now and all he has done is left me a note on my windshield saying that things aren't the way they seem and he wanted to explain everything to me... but I found out that yesterday he was hanging out with my ex friend who I don't like him hanging out with because she always talked bad stuff about him, and she and I aren't friends anymore, but anyways I don't know what to do everyday I pray for strength and for the will power to move on.. for my 5 year old, my baby on the way and myself...

    What should I do, I love him and he has destroyed completly my dream of having a family together.
    Last edited by CHANDLERS WISH; 11-20-2009 at 06:20 PM. Reason: paragraphing for readers
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  2. #2
    TEAM ADMIN CHANDLERS WISH is on a distinguished road CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    What are you in love with?

    A guy that isn't an US CITIZEN who has been lying to you all along, "living" with his boss because 1) she keeps him in the US, 2) she paid his fine, he doesn't have to "give" to her anything financial and she's his "green card" .

    Then he has you, whom he knows "loves him", or loves the idea of love, as a backup.

    He's safe.

    He's not saying sorry because your in denial. Your blinded by what he has done is doing.

    I believe her that she had no idea. She wouldn't have paid out $7500 for him, if she was purely sleeping with him.

    You know he's been living with her and given you all the lies in the world, "live with your Mother, it will save money". He knew what he was doing.

    I so dislike liers. I so dislike users, especially these types whom are only and purely trying to get Citizenship by "using" women who are perhaps a tad lost.

    I am so sorry. I realise your pregnant and this is your second child, and you so wanted the "right" family, the "right" husband. But, this man won't even share the beauty of the pregnancy with him.

    What should you do? TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Ensure he pays for the child's up-bringing and don't let him any where near you.

    It is your dream, I know, I realise but un-fortunately you chose a cad this time.

    Please take care.

    CW
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!
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  3. #3
    VIP Member geedee is on a distinguished road geedee's Avatar
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    I can imagine how hurtful this is to you. It sounds like he doesn't have his act together to be part of this babies life. My suggestion is that you break free from him for good, plan for the future with you and your baby and never look back because he isn't worth it. I know right now that seems hard to do, you are still in love and very hurt.... but for the sake of that baby it sounds like he isn't in a situation to be a good role model so you need to move on.

    Make sure you keep tabs on where he is though because as soon as that baby is born you are going to need to file for child support! I hope that helps (((HUGS)))

    Don't settle for second best for you and your child!!!
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  4. #4
    Junior Member MarieA is on a distinguished road
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    Default ...I feel Lost

    She said she didn't know, but I truly believe she did because when she went to pay the fine, we both went so she knew we were married. She even said that he told her that we were going to get a divorce.... Let say she didn't know don't you think that she would've left him? Don't you think if she had a heart she would've worried about me and the pain it was to hear her saying those things to me. I know I need to move on, I pray everyday for strength. OMG... and the worst thing of all is that yesterday he saw my step dad and told him that I would regret leaving him, because everything was a lie he says the only reason she said that was because she was tired of the rumors going around that they were having an affair, so she decided to tell me.
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  5. #5
    WH Super Moderator caterpillar79 is on a distinguished road caterpillar79's Avatar
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    Be strong. Think about your baby. Walk, and don't look back. He is not even interested of your baby - HIS baby for that matter. Face the mirror and tell yourself - you deserve more than that.

    Whatever both of them say, I don't see any reason to believe. What they do speak volumes.
    What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility. - Leo Tolstoy

    The clearest explanation for failure of any marriage is that two people are incompatible; that is, one is male and the other female. - Anna Quindlen

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  6. #6
    TEAM ADMIN CHANDLERS WISH is on a distinguished road CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    Have to agree with Cat.

    People that "make excuses" are really covering up.

    People that "claim you'll regret it, it's lies" to your Step Dad, is covering it up.

    Look after you sweet, you have a baby on it's way and that is real love, un-conditional... Not, what your going through.

    Hun, 9 months he's made you live on your own, whilst he's lived with her and 7 of those months, you've been alone with your pending baby, by yourself.

    You can be by yourself now.. and find a loving man .... it will happen.... just look after you for now...

    CW
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!
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  7. #7
    Junior Member MarieA is on a distinguished road
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    Default I am trying so hard........

    I am trying so hard.....I feel terrible I am trying not to be weak I am trying to be strong, but it's so hard. I just wish I could afford to go away and very far and put this behind. I cry everyday thinking of why????? Why would he do this to me? I know I have bad days (we all do) I know that I am not perfect, but I was always there for him, I never cheated, I forgived him for so many things and he didn't appreciated. He would tell me he loved me, and that he was so happy for our baby. My son saw him has his dad, he know no other father but my husband, and now what? I just feel so bad, Thank you so much for your comments, I truly appreciated. I wish this pain went away, I wish the days flew by and my baby was born. I don't even know what I am going to feel when my son is born. I love him so much, and I am very happy, but am I going to look at him and think about his dad betrayal? I wonder if anyone has ever been in this situation? How do you move on? How? s
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  8. #8
    TEAM ADMIN CHANDLERS WISH is on a distinguished road CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    This sounds calis but-

    The baby is a gift, he is a product of YOU, you carried him the 9 months and you did it by yourself, therefore, unfortunately the baby's daddy was the sperm donor, the only person your baby has ever had, is you...

    Try to remember that when he is born... he is your little gift...
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!
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