Mother-in-law problems

**rzrbkgirl** · 12-01-2009 09:25 PM

well guys, I need some insight. I married a man that I thought loved me more than anything, and I feel the same.

He takes care of his mom, and I admired that. I accept his proposal and said yes I can stand by you while you fulfill your obligation. Fact is she has become the most evil person ever.

She acts loke she is wheel chair bond, but isn't. I have observed her using her legs get up and moving around when she doesn't think anyone see's her.

Everything she does is to keep him bound and in the house to care for her. She tells me to leave, I need to knock before I walk into a house where I live, told me she knew how to get rid of me and so on................ My husband and I have only been married for 15 mths, and he has told me he will never leave that he is stanying and taking care of her and I can get the (edit) out.

He then apologized and asked me to stay, but he was not changing anything and I just have to continue to live as we are.

Should I cut my loses, Even though it would break my heart, and leave?

He will not compromise in any way and He can't possibly love me and act this way. Should I try counseling or know that this will only get worse for me because he will never be MY HUSBAND.................I do admire him cause no one else would ever do this, but this isn't really a marriage between us, at all.

I am so sad all I can do is cry................I have never loved like this and I am getting my heart broken very badly.................................

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-02-2009 03:38 AM

I have never loved like this and I am getting my heart broken very badly.................................

How old are you both sweet? Welcome to the Forum, I moved your thread to your own, as it's hi-jacking someone elses.

I've personally experienced this before, and he was 41, I was 38.. Man, it's like WT?

He has "always" been like this, lets face it and you knew that, something about the "choices" we make. We take the good and the bad.

But, this is control of your life.. with words spoken that are nasty. She has control over him, he has control over you.

................I have never loved like this and I am getting

How much independance do you have? Friends/ decisions/ one on one time / dates?

Before you met him, hadn't you had men in your life you loved?

Controlling a person, if successful, means that you have "over-powered them" bought out their weekness, can "control".

Who are you? Do you remember?

Make a stand, he can visit her everyday, but he's married and it's time to break the kitchen apron strings, or stop using you for companionship and a feel of being needed, loved, whilst he neglect you and focuses on all his love to his "controlling" Mother, of which bread a "controlling" son.....

Can't change people but you can change how you handle this.

CW

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-05-2009 11:32 PM

bump......

**sperosi** · 12-06-2009 03:18 PM

did he say why he wasnt changing anything? tell him again what is bothering you, ask him why he's doing what he is. suggest the both of you go to counseling. if he is unwilling to talk about it or go to counseling, then it has no hope of changing. then its just whether you are willing to keep on living like this, or move on.