Husband cheating on phone

**mye_mye** · 12-04-2009 11:34 AM

how i miss this site,
anyway, i just found out this morning that my hubby is cheating on me.
i've read all his inboxes but i don't know if they met in person .something like he is hiding from me,.
one day, i was asking him to borrow me his phone and he said, he have no load,
at night, his phone is off, but sometimes, i woke up at midnight and still he is awake and texting..

any ideas about this?

what should i do to STOP him ?
do i have to text that girl too?
i've already get her mobile#.

**Hopeless Dork** · 12-04-2009 11:49 AM

Unfortunately there is absolutely nothing you can do to "stop" him. He will do whatever he wants. The only thing you can do is decide for yourself how much you are going to take.

Having her mobile number is irrelevent... you can call her, you can say hey stop calling my husband, but that won't change what caused him to talk to her in the first place. Nor will it prevent him from texting someone else, etc.

How is the rest of your marriage going? Is this the only thing amiss? Were you completely happy until uncovering these messages or have you been noticing other changes in his behavior towards you?

You'll have to talk to him about it, and ask him why he is even doing it, then decide whether or not you want to believe it, decide if he will stop and if you want to work it out with him.... but its going to take his desire to be true and your desire to forgive to move forward... there is no quick fix to it... stopping him from texting this one person wont save a thing if its even possible.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-04-2009 01:09 PM

I think there's an air of excitement in an affair, meaning if you ring her, she in the back of her mind, is going to go "oh oh", but then afterwards, work out ways to "see" your husband and change all current tactics they use to communicate, then you will have no idea what is going on. It's not going to stop her, if she has gained feelings for him, she will see it as a further step of the adventure if that makes sense.

I remember you writing back to babyriana, are you from the same Culture as her? In-other-words, does he think he can?

You can say nothing and catch them together and confront them.

Or, you can sit him down and discuss this and let him know it's not on and ask him if he wants this marriage or not and if he does, he has to stop contact and work on your marriage.

You have to ascertain how you really feel about what he is doing, why he may have started and whether it's salvagable for both of you, or if he will continue behind your back, or do it again.

CW

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-05-2009 11:35 PM

Just wondering on other points of view on this...

CW

**mye_mye** · 12-08-2009 10:20 PM

tnx for all replies..

everything was fine now.
and you know what i did?
took his phone while sleeping and read all inboxes ..
that night, they were texting with his textmate, i've read all thier messeges..
I got his sim card and when he woke up he was ;looking for it.
he is asking me if i saw it and don't reply at all. instead i give him a punch and kick ..i said, if he won't stop his DOING i will divorce him,and no matter what happen i will leave him.

HE PROMISE ME THAT he will STOP all the textmate he had.
and if i want too,we are going to exchange sim card so that he had nothing to hide.
and now, we're very happy after what happen,
and i've learn that everythiong will be OK as long as you've learn listen to each other..and give a change to explain.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-08-2009 10:44 PM

Did he explain why he was texting her though?

Just curious... It's okay to say sorry, I won't do it again, but they have to really mean it..

It's easy to go by another phone and hide it, keep it on silent.

I hope you talked more as well about why he was doing it and solved that problem mye.

CW

**mye_mye** · 12-09-2009 03:23 AM

he said i have nothing to worry about it's only a txt..
and they don't met..
he is with me all the time that's why i know if he is hiding something ..

**mye_mye** · 12-09-2009 03:24 AM

but, i didn't give my 100% trust..

i will just observe ...

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-09-2009 03:31 AM

That's good..

You have to not be blind, but happy that you feel you can work with him on this

You know if other lies have been told.

I liked that you gave him what for, lol.. That reminded me of a movie but anyway, you can forgive, just hard to forget and you'll always be watching, obviously you love him regardless.

CW

**mye_mye** · 12-09-2009 03:45 AM

its really like a movie..but i don't cry..
i have to be strong he must see that i can live without him..
that's why i give him a punch instead of crying,,