partner gets annoyed when i ask him to stay home more often

**mum25** · 12-15-2009 01:48 AM

so i've asked my partner several times if he can stay home and spend more time with me and our 3 year old son because he is always going around to his mates and staying till very late at night, drinking or watching movies etc....things that i always ask him to do and he doesn't seem to want to most the time, he is only really around when he wants something and always asking me for money and blowing all his, i pay the bills and everything, if he is home he is downstairs on his guitar or computer all night till after i've gone to bed, then when i mention all this he says "cant i have a life?", so this is saying to me that my son and i are not his life well then what are we, i dont know how to approach this anymore he just gets annoyed when i even open my mouth to talk and its such a hassle for him to even listen to me for more then a couple of minutes and it makes me extremely mad.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-15-2009 02:05 AM

Welcome mum25 to the Forum...

I think he's still living in his "batchelor" life and doesn't want to accept responsibilites, such as a lady in his life and a child.

Why are you paying for everything? Doesn't he work?

How are you paying for everything? Seems your supporting his habits and he is dissing you in hope you don't realise, whilst he lives the life he wants without being a giver.

How long have you been together and are you 25?

I don't blame you for being annoyed, it's not like your saying he pays his way, is there for you and your son, and also does these things, you make it sound like he's always away from you both, playing his guitar or on a computer.

What's his ambitions or does he have none?

You have a life, you and your son and obviously can support both financially ... WHAT does he bring to the table for you two?

CW

**GlitterAndStuds** · 12-15-2009 09:07 AM

I agree that it sounds like he's not quite ready to give up his bachelor lifestyle, but still likes the idea of having his family at home. Has he spent ANY time with you recently, at all? From the sounds of it, he sounds like he never does, or never wants to which is what would bother me the most.

I'm all for boyfriends having their guys' nights to hang out without the girlfriends/wives and just have fun, but he needs to make time for you too. It would drive me crazy if he was out every single night at all hours, and still complains about having "no life".

How does he act when you do spend time together?

**LanaBear** · 12-15-2009 09:10 AM

I agree with the ladies above.

What is keeping you in this relationship? You do not sound happy, he doesn't sound much like a partner much less a father.

I think a serious no bones talk is in order about expectations, where you and your child stand as a family to him and why he feels he has 'no life' if what you say is true and he goes out every night.