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Thread: He can't say "Happy Birthday"?

  1. 12-28-2009 08:11 AM #1
    debbie1253
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    Default He can't say "Happy Birthday"?

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    I have been with the same man for the past 6 years. We have been living together for the last several years. Yesterday was my birthday. I know he did not forget. I don't care if he doesn't buy me a gift or even a card, but why can't he at least wish me a "Happy Birthday"? If he did anything else to make the day seem special maybe I wouldn't be so hurt, but it's just like any other day. We had this argument last year and as far as he is concerned birthday's are no big deal, but wouldn't you think since they are a big deal.....ok maybe not a BIG deal, but at least a Medium deal that he could respect my feelings and wish me HB?
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  2. 12-28-2009 08:40 AM #2
    WildChild
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    What do you do for his birthday? How do you think he would react if you "forgot" it? It's a catch 22, whatever hurt he has associated with it that he either avoids celebrating or punishes others by denying them the celebration, if you do the same you perpetuate and reinforce it. It's a hurtful thing to do to you and he deprives himself too.

    All I can suggest is you either suffer (not good), make a big ugly fuss (probably worse) or find some family and friends and create your own celebration. It's about celebrating life and the joy having people you care about in it.

    How is he otherwise?
    We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
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  3. 12-30-2009 10:58 PM #3
    i-like-tea
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    maybe he forgot
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  4. 12-30-2009 11:03 PM #4
    x.st.angel.x
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    When you're married for 6 years you cant just forget....I think you need to explain to him that maybe its no big deal for him but for you its different. I dont see whats so hard with saying happy birthday so its the least he could do in my opinion.

    I suppose you'll have to try come to a mutual agreement or understanding with him

    P.s happy birthday
    Lifes not about how many breaths you take its about how many moments take your breath away!

    Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it you will land among the stars
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  5. 12-31-2009 12:43 AM #5
    sperosi
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    i have had the same issue with people forgetting and not saying it. i tried mentioning it but was forgotten the following year too. during one big disagreement i brought it up and was chastised for hold a grudge for almost a year. got a happy birthday when it finally came around, but it wasnt real by any means.

    if you do bring it up, dont do what I did and do it during a disagreement or argument. a sterile happy birthday is almost worse then none at all
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  6. 12-31-2009 05:13 PM #6
    CHANDLERS WISH
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    A relationship is definately about compromise.

    Just because one person doesn't believe in something doesn't mean that you can't.

    If he doesn't want to celebrate, fine, you have to make sure you do, to you, this day is special so YOU make sure that it's special and organise around him...

    It's your "choice" if you choose to allow your day to be ruined.... so make it your choice for it not to

    But, simply tell him as well "compromise" all relationship require this to succeed, the wish will do as you will make the day as you want so that's fine.

    CW
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    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!
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