Thread: Fiance's past showing it's ugly head!

Sounds like a last ditch effort of a very desperate woman. Its annoying but as long as she knocks it off you got to just dust it off your shoulders. We all have pasts, some more colored than others but they exsist nonetheless... and we're not responsible for anyones actions but our own and it sounds like your guy played no part in this lady's resurfacing so just focus on your own happiness, and try not to let her cause you to be insecure or cause static between you and your man... that was her intent, afterall.

Originally Posted by Hopeless Dork

Sounds like a last ditch effort of a very desperate woman. Its annoying but as long as she knocks it off you got to just dust it off your shoulders. We all have pasts, some more colored than others but they exsist nonetheless... and we're not responsible for anyones actions but our own and it sounds like your guy played no part in this lady's resurfacing so just focus on your own happiness, and try not to let her cause you to be insecure or cause static between you and your man... that was her intent, afterall.

She has so not succeeded in her 'mission' because all she has done is make me more determand to marry him and prove to theworld that he has changed!

this is going to sound mean, and its not with bad intentions, but you shouldn't be so quick to dismiss this.

yes there are crazy people out there who will do or say all sorts of things just to jerk people around or play with their emotions. but often times there is some bit of truth in what they are saying.

you said that your Fiance has a not shining past and wont talk about a lot of it. that worries me. if he has changed he would be willing to talk about most if not all of it with someone he loved and was planning on getting married to.

people dont change that much, and if they do its because something big happened in their life.

if whatever that was, and whatever he did before would hurt for you to learn now, how much more would it hurt if you found out after being married for 10 or 15 years.

now i'm not saying he's cheating or lying. I am saying that you should at least consider that there may be some bits of truth in what you are being told, and not just dismiss it.

if your happy, 4get them. Who are they to you? NOBODYS, your man is about to marry you, so he will be part of your life, so listern to what he says and stick by him. You will find out soon enough if he was up to anything. Shes just a lowlife who has got nothing better to do, silly cow! lol

After what happened yesterday he did offer to tell me everything about his past and let me then decide if I still wanted to marry him and I told him that the only thing I want toknow about his past is that it is in the past and he will not revisit it! He has promised me that he will never walk that way again and that is enough for me! I know that Dr Phil is always saying past behaviour predicts future behaviour and I will have to be on my toes all the time but I truely beleave that he has made a 180 turn around in his life!

Originally Posted by Lady Aurian

After what happened yesterday he did offer to tell me everything about his past and let me then decide if I still wanted to marry him and I told him that the only thing I want toknow about his past is that it is in the past and he will not revisit it! He has promised me that he will never walk that way again and that is enough for me! I know that Dr Phil is always saying past behaviour predicts future behaviour and I will have to be on my toes all the time but I truely beleave that he has made a 180 turn around in his life!

Good for you! I have aways believed the past is the past. As long as it stays there!

i actually do believe people can change, although it has to be on their own volition, ie you cant change for someone else, it has to be because you really want to. a lot of men who are promiscous, seem to either have security issues, or seem to be seeking revenge on women. same as a lot of promiscous women, an insight into their behaviour enables them to change it. as long as your finance changed for himself, you will not have any problems. casual, meaningless sex will feel empty to someone who has experienced the "real" thing. but dont marry him just to prove everyone wrong -if you have any doubts whatsoever - because that has failure written all over it.