Thread: I need HELP!!!!! :confused:

I've talked to my parents about this they've known since i live with them... His parents have been told on many occasions that they are wanted to be in the baby's life and so I've told the baby's dad too. But they are now saying the opposite because of what the papers say... I really don't know what to do with them... I didn't want things to be like this but they made it this way... I do think that its his mom the one who is causing most of this drama but i also think its him too. His dad is not really that type of person but I'm sure he feels the same way because the mom knows how to eat her families brain so she controls them all especially him (my husband) because he is such a mommas boy. I don't know what to tell them or not tell them... I want this to be over...

I feel for you, yashira - It's a difficult situation. It's going to be hard but you have your parents by the sound of it - lean on them for emotional support.

The main thing is to stick to your guns. Don't give in to things because he, or his mother, promises that it will make it be over quicker. They don't really have any control over that, the process takes as long as it takes. Yes, they can respond that the divorce should happen on their terms but that response can be ignored. If you have had advice to request supervised visits and to divorce in Indiana then there is obviously a good case for both of those things.

Do you have any emails or texts from your husband stating that he wants to be free of responsibility or from the time when you agreed to move to Indiana together before you married? Anything you have from him in any written form (including text and email) you need to keep as evidence of what you say above. Without that it is his word against yours. That''s another reason to send the letter CW suggests - if you write telling him and his parents that you do not intend to exclude them from your son's life that will count in your favour.

Really as the mother the law is on your side - it is unfair to good fathers of kids with negligent mothers but it is the way it is and you can use it to your advantage. Your son is better off with you, especially if the alternative is being brought up by his grandparents with a mainly absent father coming and going. The court will see that. What is important is that you show yourself to be the good mother that you are and the fair person that you are. Be truthful - if you lie about or exaggerate one little thing that will cast a shadow on everything else you say in court. Don't risk it. Have faith in yourself and in the judge who will doubtless be very experienced in these matters.

Best of luck to you.

I wouldn't worry about them getting full custody, most of the time, the baby lives with the parent who had possession of the baby when you go to court. Unless, he could prove something very bad about you that affects how you could take care of the baby. Now them trying to make you go back to their state I have never heard of anyone being able to do, especially after you have been there awhile and there were no custody papers in place at the time. Your attorney will have to sort all that out, but don't worry about what your ex's parents think, do what you feel is right for you and your son. When I got a divorce my husband threatened taking my son from me from the time I was pregnant, he tried to fight me for custody after I left. I was scared out of my gourd, and under tremendous stress, he even had a private investigator watch me a couple of time. But it was the ego of a narcissist talking and he ended up with standard visitaion. Get a good lawyer and let him do the fighting for you. People threaten all kinds of things and try to demand things but they can want in one and and poo in the other.

Thank you guys for the advice I will take it into consideration most definitely... Thanks!!!

Your so young. Thats where the problem lies.
You havent even lived life yet.

1st... I would not worry about him getting custody, as previous responders have said, the custody is generally going to go to the mother, unless there is something really bad. I'd just try not to be to stressed out about it and try to communicate w/ his parents (via a letter like someone else said) and let them know you do want them to be apart of their grandchild's life, that may help put them at ease about the situation. Anyway, good luck, stay strong and try to keep the stress at bay.

Originally Posted by jennellebelle

Your so young. Thats where the problem lies.
You havent even lived life yet.

I don't necessarily disagree with you but I fail to see how stating this helps the OP. In fact you kind of sound like you're criticising her. She's in the situation she's in, she's taking responsibility. I don't see what else she can do.