How Can I get a break/space when we live together?

**sarahlee20** · 03-02-2010 07:52 AM

How do you geta break from your relationship/SO when you need to walk away and get space for a bit when living together is proving to be hurting and stressing rather than improving your relationship? seprate bedrooms? Not talking? Any tips?

**Hopeless Dork** · 03-02-2010 07:57 AM

Unless you want to break up with someone ... soon, seperate bedrooms are not a good idea. Neither is walking around not talking to them and ignoring them. If you feel like you need some space it might be time to take up a hobby outside of the home, go visit friends a couple hours during the week ... or if a more drastic break is needed go visit out reletives for a few days.

If you feel like you are suffocating by their presense that is just not a good sign. And sarah, if you click on your home page... then view posts started by you, and read down that list -- you can see a list of grievences in a persepective that may reveal to you just how unhappy you actually are.

However... it could be that you are being entirely too introspective on your relationship which can be just as harmful as ignoring how you feel all together. I mean its very good to vent, but sometimes if you pick a person apart and look for flaws, oh golly they'll be there.

**Janster** · 03-02-2010 08:01 AM

Give us some examples of why you feel you need a break or why you feel you need space?

Is he constantly by your side wanting attention?
Is he giving you a lot of love & attention - perhaps you're not used to it?

We can't give you suggestions unless you tell us why you feel that way.

Because afterall.....it could be HIS problem and it could be YOUR problem too.

**sarahlee20** · 03-02-2010 08:08 AM

Originally Posted by Janster

Give us some examples of why you feel you need a break or why you feel you need space?

Is he constantly by your side wanting attention?
Is he giving you a lot of love & attention - perhaps you're not used to it?

We can't give you suggestions unless you tell us why you feel that way.

Because afterall.....it could be HIS problem and it could be YOUR problem too.

Ya well just mostly the stress of being together and he has alotof issues i'm not comfortable with. Seeing my pasts posts you can see whats up. I recently took up kniting with my aunt which is fun.

**KMonte85** · 03-02-2010 08:16 AM

Any feasible way for you to move out? Maybe live with friends/relatives? Get an apartment with roommate(s)?

**stressed** · 03-02-2010 09:22 AM

Live with your aunt for a few days? You can't get a break when you live together, it will either look ridiculous or it will make it extremely boring for both. You will have to talk sooner or later and you will end up having sex, neither of which is part of a "break". One of you has to move out for a while.

**SinisterUrge** · 03-02-2010 09:24 AM

Take a Karate (or TKD, MMA, Aikido, whatever) class. Then you'll be out of the house and hopefully leaving a good chunk of your aggression at the dojo.

That'll give you some 'me time' every monday, wednesday, and friday. And its been an effective form of exercise for several centuries too.

**WildChild** · 03-02-2010 09:28 AM

Something the posters should be aware of is that Sarah and her BF who is dealing with a gambling addiction, live with her mother.

**Janster** · 03-02-2010 10:18 AM

Originally Posted by sarahlee20

Ya well just mostly the stress of being together and he has alotof issues i'm not comfortable with. Seeing my pasts posts you can see whats up. I recently took up kniting with my aunt which is fun.

I'm new and really don't have much time to cruise and read everything here.

Have you been living together for very long?

Sounds like living together isn't the best thing for your relationship right now.

**KMonte85** · 03-02-2010 10:26 AM

That's right, I forgot you were living with your mother... In my mind, I thought you were with his family.

That being the case, is it feasible for HIM to move? Does he have friends in the area that he could stay with? Taking a constructive break is really not possible while living under the same roof, that is too intimate to really be able to take time away from each other and sort through your thoughts. Its too close for you to focus on yourselves as the constant distraction of each other is always there...