What to do about a cheating husband

**Ladybugmomof3** · 03-03-2010 05:00 AM

I have been trying to get my husband to talk to me and spend time with me. He has refused to. We have been married for almost three years, we have 2 year old twins. I found a email where he told another women about how much he loved her. I want to leave I have no were to go, I only work part time. I am so angry and hurt. I am not sure what to do. He said he does not want me to leave. I dont know what to do. The whole time I have been asking him to be with me, he has been spending time with her. I am so angry. I have been asking him for counseling, never interested. Now he wants to go to counseling. I am so confused along with all these other emotions.

**beverly16** · 03-03-2010 05:22 AM

I feel you. My husband cheated on me a year ago and I just found out. It hurts so much and it's like a punch in the gut. I wanted to leave as well, we have an almost 4 year old together. Then I realized that I love him. His cheating was only 3 times, but it kills me. It's only been five days since I found out and I am still hurting, but I decided I love him enough to keep trying. He feels super guilty and has cried almost as much as I have. My mom, who was cheated on badly (he left her and lived with the girl for 5 months) told me to listen to my heart and my head. I suggest you find out whether or not he really loves you, whether or not you love him and then from there decide what to do. if there is no love, there is no point. If you think that you can forgive and put it behind you, then you should work on it. But, let him know he has lost all trust and respect, and that he needs to work on deserving those things again. And he needs to treat you like a queen, because none of this is your fault. I told my husband last year that I thought I loved another man, but I thought we worked that out. I never even touched the other guy because I respect my marriage and I confused pity for an old friend with love, and that's why my husband said he cheated, but he also said that he was in the wrong. Hope this helps.

**Ladybugmomof3** · 03-03-2010 06:11 AM

I ijust found out three days ago. I have never done anything to harm the marriage. 'i am not the best wife, there is always room for improvement. But why cheat? I dont think he cares at all. I am so confused.

**stressed** · 03-03-2010 06:20 AM

Go to counseling with him. It is still too raw to make a decision and there are many answers he must give you if he wants you to move on and if he loves you as much as you love him.
Cheating is not always the end, a lot of it depends on why it happened and if you can put it behind you or not. If he's honest with you about regretting it or if he only wants to settle. But it takes time to take in and you are not supposed to make a decision right away. But do go to counseling with him.