Thread: Husband Texting-What should I do

He actually said he doesn't think of you guys as sexy? Thats painful for me to even imagine my boyfriend THINKING let alone saying.

We all have days we might not feel sexy, at any size... and we all have the potential to feel sexy, at any size.

It sounds like he is battling some self-esteem issues and is projecting them on to you as well.

This relationship with his boss is secondary to that. I am fully amazed by your ability to remain calm under those circumstances and applaud your ability to not freak out. I think I would have flipped (to no one's benefit) at comments like your husband made along with the behavior he is displaying with his boss.

If he is feeling unnatractive and she is giving him attention its likely giving him a superficial boost to the ego. It may very well be that she is 'just a friend', 'just a boss'... but I think they are acting in a way that goes beyond a professional relationship.

At this point you can express your hurt at how he feels about himself and you, express your concern over the amount of time he gives this woman. But at the end of the day if he wants to talk to her, he'll find a way to do it. If he doesn't see you guys as sexual beings together anymore... its won't change over night.

Since you have no control over what someone else does, even your husband... you need to keep what you do limited to the things you DO have control over. Like the way you feel about yourself, and what you will or won't consider a disrespectful behavior.

You just had a baby, your emotions are probably running high, hormones, etc... so do look at the situation and consider it objectively for a while just in case you aren't over exagerating what he is doing, even to yourself.

ONE time, I caught my bf checking out another woman in my presense... ONE time and he appologised tremendously for how it hurt me and the disrespect I felt. But when I get mad sometimes, hormonal, emotional... I would say OH YOU ALWAYS check out other girls. And in my head I am saying yep he always does that always always always. Because I am mad.

But when I look at it objectively ... I see, uh, it was ONE time. I am just meaning for you to sit and think about does he really text her all the time? Or is it just more than you'd like... because him doing it one or two times when it made you unhappy can make it feel like HE'S ALWAYS doing that!!!!! Do you know what I mean?

But if you feel like you are being objective, and you feel like even if he is not carrying on an affair that his interest in talking so much with this woman bothers you -- it might be good to talk to him about how it makes you feel.

Don't go at it accusing him of anything you have no proof of. Simply talk about the facts as you see them. That you feel misplaced behind this friendship he has with her. Your worries, your fears, give him the opportunity to comfort them. Thats really all you can do. How would he feel about you carrying on in a similiar way with a male friend you were going on a trip with? Talking to all the time, etc...

You may find that he would be equally concerned or that you two may have entirely different ideas for what is acceptable and what isnt.