Thread: He told me that I was fat and unattractive.

I don't know if he is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) but it sure sounds like it. I don't say this to "excuse" but rather to "explain". What he is doing is not acceptable. But; if as I suspect, he is a combat vet...he did things that no human can do with out it messing up their thinking in ways you can't imagine unless you have been there. RUN don't walk to the nearest place to get into counseling. Make him understand that he NEEDS counseling...like F***NOW! I have a close friend that is dealing with PTSD from the Vietnam Era...he never got it treated and now it is about to destroy his new marriage. He is going into a residential treatment program. But no matter what he does...get some counseling for YOU. God Bless you both...you will be in my prayers.

Originally Posted by anikkik

My husband and I had a baby 7 months ago. He has always been very into fitness and staying in shape. We both eat well and while pregnant, I only gained 25lbs. When my husband gets mad before, during and after my pregnancy, he will call me names like "fatass", "fat pig", he will tell me I'm gross and so many other horrible things. But he would always apologize later and say that he didn't mean that, he was just trying to hurt me because he was mad. Finally, the other day he was just honest and he told me that he just was not into women that looked like me. He said I wasn't attractive and I shouldve worked harder over the last 7 months to lose the weight. I weigh 140 now, I am not huge. I didn't get upset at him because I asked him to please be honest. I could not take the wondering anymore. But I am absolutely heartbroken. I think about it 24hrs a day. I cant eat, I cant sleep. I cant take my clothes off without crying. I love him and I am attracted to him. I could honestly just die. This is the worst I have ever been hurt in my life, bar none. I am working hard on getting skinny because I don't know what else to do. I would love him no matter what he looked like. I am embarrassed to even write this because I have not read anything this bad on here yet. Please don't offer the advice to leave him. Believe me, I think about that a lot. But, we have a tiny baby whom I cannot yet support on my own and I just don't want to because I adore him. Also, my husband is like Jekyll and Hyde. 90% of the time he is nice and fun and wonderful to me and our son. But when it is bad, it is soooo bad. I do think part of it can be attributed to post traumatic stress from his time serving in the U.S. Army. His temper is so unpredictable. I'm not sure. And let me be clear, I am no angel. I have done things and said things that I am not proud of as I am sure most of us have. But, he says things to me that even the lowest of people do not deserve. I just don't know how to go on and how to begin healing from this.......

I have heard that people that serve in the Army find it hard to adapt back to their normal lives because of the tramatic experiences they have to deal with when they were in the Army. It sounds like your husband may need counseling to deal with any issues he still may have.

However that is no excuse for treating his wife and the mother of his child that way. I am sure you are a beautiful woman inside out and he needs to show more understanding and respect twards you.

If he is willing i think you both need to go to counselling together otherwise it may never end or even get worse if he doesnt change his way of thinking.