I text the woman my husband in cheating on me with.

**Abeth001** · 03-20-2010 07:00 AM

My husband and I have being married for 3 years (my second marriage) last year we had a relly rocky year.. to the point of me walking way from home/ with the kids... he asked me not to leave and stay.. so I did.. thing got better during the last 6 moths and I thoght eveything was back to normal, no more fights or arguments... well this morning I found out my husband is text masseging this woman,I checked his phone and sure enough my suspissions are true... they both text back and forth she asks him why "doesn't he get a divorce" that she'll "make him happy"..his text reply to tell her " I don't leave the house"... I din't confronted him. .but I did text her from my phone in a sort of calm way .. I let her know that we have a son together and the reason I wount leave the houe is "because he asked me to stay" .... now he left for work and I dying.. I don't know if she's going to tell him I text her and what to say or do when he confronts me about it... I'm so scared and worried.. I don't know what to do.

**WildChild** · 03-20-2010 07:08 AM

My guess is it's pretty likely he'll get an ear full and lie to her. He's the one who should be sweating this. He's had you and her, by the end of the day he could have neither.

What do you want to have happen? Are you ready to walk away? You were 6 months ago. Do you want to try to save the marriage? What would it take to do that?

**Abeth001** · 03-20-2010 12:01 PM

One side of me tells me to save the marriage, the other im so hurt, i feel like telling him on his face but I don't know how to approach the situation, I know feelings are gooing to get a hold of me and I wont be able to think clearly and talk out of anger. or I don't say anything and I just take the kids and walk away..I'm sick to my stomach.

**Abeth001** · 03-20-2010 12:03 PM

yes I was ready to leave before, but he told me to think things through and think about the kids...and stupid me I stayed.

**WildChild** · 03-20-2010 03:13 PM

What is different now? What good holds you there?

**Beautiful Disaster** · 03-22-2010 06:48 AM

Being very blunt, who cares about this woman? Who cares about what your husband who has been committing adultery, thinks? Two things truly matter right now, YOU, and YOUR SON. Maybe he should be considered, but really, was he considering you when he was cheating with this woman? Was he considering the damage it would do to you and to his child? No......he wasn't......so all you and your child have are each other. He has to be able to depend on you to take care of him and to make sure he doesnt live in a household that will damage him and hisability to have relationships in his life. Living in a home where he knows (or eventually know) that dad cheats on mom, and mom sits back and takes is........that will damage him.

He wants you to "think things through and think about the kids"? Did he think things through and think about the kids while cheating? He's using them as a way to get you to stay so that he doesn't have to deal with divorce and breaking up his family. But he wants it out of convenience, out of selfishness, not out of love.

It's okay to be sad. It's okay to be angry. But follow your instinct. He lost his right to have you and his child at his convenience when he knowingly and willingly went out on you, and your marriage.

**purplelicious** · 03-29-2010 12:19 PM

So what happened? did he come up to you on this? are you still with him?
are you ok? I am sorry you are going through this...it makes me sick to my stomach..
I too am going thru something similar:
I have been married 23 years and I called the woman my husband been texting and talking to for the last 6months, yes we are trying to work things out and I don't know why but I think I am entitled to know what is going on..Well I called her and a different girl answered her cell phone, I thought she just disguised her name cuz she knew it was me calling, so I just simply started telling her what was on my mind.. not mean or nasty or nothing, just "woman to woman I know you know my husband and I need to know what is going on?" the voice on the other side says "sorry this is not her, but she left her cell phone with me but, she is married for 3-4 years now and has kids and I don't think she knows your husband" I said "please, don't go there with me, she knows my husband and tell her or don't tell her I called, I will just try calling her another time" this was today, and she won't answer, should I text her? do I really need to know since my husband and I are trying to work things out? is any one going through something similar? please help, my chest feels heavy, I can't eat, I feel happy when I'm with him, but when we are at work or he is not with me I feel like I will lose my mind...it's only been a week so I need some advise..

**Jacque** · 06-02-2010 05:03 PM

I know these are old posts, but I can't help but wonder what happened. I, too, called the gal my bf of 5 years was texting. She was separated AND had a boyfriend and was asking my man out! She tried to deny what she was doing and then said she and my bf were "friends" and that since she knew he was happy, she wasn't asking him out anymore. The texting hasn't stopped, but it has slowed considerably. I realize she is the one with the problem. But I still wish he would just hit "delete" instead of "reply"