Personally I actually feel it's unrealistic to expect your partner's family to shoulder any of your problems. There's far too many chances for differences in relationships or viewpoints for that and I didn't marry my husband's family. I married my husband. This is where I feel the problem lies. Your husband should be understanding even if his family is not helpful. Sit the jerk down and tell him how little money matters compared to your family and happiness. Then tell him exactly how stressed you are and how important it is for you to help out your family. Then you'll probably have to remind him how little money really matters because he'll probably try to hang it over your head again. My whole family is that way so I know how it works. "I pay x for such and such so why can't you do this?!" Because your cash doesn't fix what is wrong in my life. If you figure out how to really get that through to someone who only thinks about being there for someone in dollar signs let me know. I need to apply it to my mom. Luckily if I start yelling about ER trips, stupid doctors, and unhelpful college instructors she feels uncomfortable enough to shut up about whatever finances of mine she's trying to control or money she's spending for a family trip/get together.