help me understand my man

**Angelbabies** · 04-08-2010 08:57 AM

okay, well my soon to be husband and i been together for 3 years and have 2 kids, all the good about this man out weighs the bad in every way. There is just one detail that confuses me and thats the porn thing, i dont really have a problem with it cuz i am bi i like girls and i watch porn with him to sometimes. but even if i give it to him 1 or more times a day he still looks at porn. now when i am not home i can kinda but not really understand why he will look at a couple porn sites. but when he gets up at 430 in the morning he will watch a couple porn videos before leaving. WHY??? i just gave him some great action last night and i get on the history to find a site i couldn remember how to spell and there it is porn earlie as in the morning. i just need to understand why, is this a lead to an affair, or am i over reacting. please help me lol

**LanaBear** · 04-08-2010 09:21 AM

Oh, there are so many many threads on this. Have a read...

Others will have better advice, I can't offer much as it is something I've never had to deal with.

However, questioning whether it will lead to an affair, no, I don't believe so. Are you overreacting? Depends I guess on your relationship.

Does his viewing porn take away from your sex life?

Bottom line, you need to talk to him about it and let him know how much it is bothering you. I'm guessing that it is not the viewing but the frequency? Men are rather funny and sometimes think that if you are okay with it, there is no limit. He may not know that it is the frequency that bothers you. So, more than anything, ASK him... Why is he viewing it so much? Does he feel something is missing in your sex life for him to be wanting to view it this much?

Welcome to the forum!

**Angelbabies** · 04-08-2010 10:11 AM

Originally Posted by LanaBear

Oh, there are so many many threads on this. Have a read...

Others will have better advice, I can't offer much as it is something I've never had to deal with.

However, questioning whether it will lead to an affair, no, I don't believe so. Are you overreacting? Depends I guess on your relationship.

Does his viewing porn take away from your sex life?

Bottom line, you need to talk to him about it and let him know how much it is bothering you. I'm guessing that it is not the viewing but the frequency? Men are rather funny and sometimes think that if you are okay with it, there is no limit. He may not know that it is the frequency that bothers you. So, more than anything, ASK him... Why is he viewing it so much? Does he feel something is missing in your sex life for him to be wanting to view it this much?

Welcome to the forum!

**The veiwing does not take away from our sex life so thats a good thing lol, and yes the times he picks and chooses to watch it, he used to hide it and i told him there is no point its not a big deal, so he stoped i dont care much that he watches it just when and when i leave home sometimes he will go ape with watching porn lol i just want to know more if i am loving someone thats going to cheat cuz porn makes the eyes wonder with some guys

**rcoreyus** · 04-08-2010 11:10 AM

I don't think porn leads to cheating. My only concern here is that watching at 4:30am sounds like it may be an addiction.

I don't think all porn watching is either addictive or bad, but it can be. I view it like alcohol. Not necessarily bad, but someone who has a drink at 4:30am probably has a problem.

Since you sometimes watch with him, you can probably ask him about it more without sounding judgmental.

**Angelbabies** · 04-08-2010 11:25 AM

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

I don't think porn leads to cheating. My only concern here is that watching at 4:30am sounds like it may be an addiction.

I don't think all porn watching is either addictive or bad, but it can be. I view it like alcohol. Not necessarily bad, but someone who has a drink at 4:30am probably has a problem.

Since you sometimes watch with him, you can probably ask him about it more without sounding judgmental.

***Well the only times he will watch it is when i am not home and he is here alone or if he has an extra 10 min before he leaves for work, i just dont undertand why, and i did ask why he would watch it in the morning and as usaual the response is lol "i dunno"

**tabithapadfield** · 04-11-2010 04:15 PM

Porn isnt that bad. But if this is bothering you now you need to talk to him about it. Your fixing to get married and if you cant be honest and open with him then theres something wrong there! I wouldnt worry to much. Porn is nothing he might just be addicted. At least hes not out gambling away hes just doing his bussiness to a few unrreal things! as long as he still wants to have sex with u and loves u i wouldnt worry so much. Cheating isnt apart of porn. as long as he keeps his to his hands or you. you guys will be fine!

**Hopeless Dork** · 04-11-2010 04:29 PM

Originally Posted by tabithapadfield

Porn is nothing he might just be addicted.

I just found it strange that you would think porn is nothing while in the same sentence adding that he might be an addict... or 'just' an addict :\

If nothing, it wouldn't get him out of bed at 430 am just to view it. And it wasn't a concern of the OP I doubt she'd take the effort to post this.

Talk to him about how you feel. Thats all you can do.

**stressed** · 04-12-2010 05:34 AM

It could be a habit of his, and since he doesn't give a reason at all as to why he does it then tell him it bothers you, especially when he does it after a great night of sex. Maybe he does it just because he can.