Money:Power

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-13-2010 04:03 PM

When he's on holidays, hand all the chores over to him for 1 week, that's all it will take for him to realise exactly the effort and time it takes

When I started in Real Estate, it was Commission Only... My ex, had a back injury so he wasn't even working... yet, he had the nerve to say "get a real job" as the first few months what ever I earnt went against the retainer given to me, but heck at least I was bringing in money. And, off course, I went on to owning my own Company so much for support huh

But, in addition, he never did anything around the house, not even the garbage, you can see why he's my ex

I often wonder, if it's their thought pattern, that "women" are "mean't" to do the laundry, cooking, cleaning, feed the pets, etc... even if they are not at work themselves..

I struggled to get him to do things.. He would just ignore me..

Thankfully, this guy I am with now, was used to doing his own washing/ironing and he's a Chef, lol's... and we both work...

But, if your working from home and you can make more money, from the more you work, the harder you work, then one day you may actually earn more than him, and when that day comes? He'll probably say, employ a cleaner honey

**grrrr** · 04-13-2010 06:14 PM

HA! That's brilliant! A Chef... I'm jealous!

Funny, I'm in real estate as well. Most of my work occurs on the weekend, which I think was where the frustration stemmed from. I can gather as many contacts as humanly possible, but at the end of the day I'm working late afternoon, and weekend hours, yet manage to still have a meal fixed for him when he comes home from the M-F job.... I guess that's why I was just like, "FOR REAL??? SUNDAY. I had three open houses.... two offers.... I got home from the office that I only go to when doing deals... and you can't take out the stinkin' garbage?

Well, he's in advertising.... so he's super stressed, so I'm going to sit on this for now, but totally bringing it up in a sensitive way sometime this weekend, if I have the chance to breathe!

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-14-2010 12:21 AM

grrrrrrrr... now I know where your name came from

See, they "see" it as a part time job.. Real Estate and it's not... and once established, it's friggen hard work. I sold 4, last week, listed 2, and have 3 appraisals, so I don't know where I am at the moment, and I do all the paperwork, as I downsized to just me.. When he sees you at that stage? He'll be happy, cause he'll see the $$$$$$$$$$.

Yeah, advertising is hard, especially if he is also in sales, he has to meet more budgets, get more rejections.. And, be expected to be wonder man.. I get that...

I bet, he thinks your more "casual" it's an easier, job... Go through your job description, marketing, phone calls, keeping in touch, organising signboards/ internet, advertising, Contracts, Form 1's, and all the liasoning with all of that, let alone, ensuring your name is out there.... then juggling the house on top

You and him way sound like me and my ex, at that time, I also worked from home and went into the office, when I was working for someone...

I think he sees it as more "part time" tell him your goals, plans, desired outcome from being a Real Estate Agent, he may see a different picture...

CW

**grrrr** · 04-14-2010 12:32 PM

I know that he appreciates when a deal is coming together, or WORSE falling apart (yikes!) how hard and stressful it is.... He's really quite understanding and loving, so I can't totally bash him completely.... but yeah, I think that a lot of the time he thinks that I'm goofing off more (hence, I shall never tell him about this site, b/c this is totally my goofing off place!!!)

He's in the Creative side of advertising, which is extra stressful now b/c his company just went through what hopefully is the LAST lay-off, and he's the only creative that they have now.... so he's been working really late lately and on weekends too, so I have to be more respectful and understanding of him too....

I think that everyone on this thread is right, and it's just a matter of sitting down and communicating to stike a fair and good balance of chores and expectations of chores. It sounds so obvious and seems so easy.... it's like "duh!!!" - so I'll update you all when we have our conversation, which I don't think will be until the weekend.

Good luck CW with all of your deals! You must be up to your eyeballs with dreaded paperwork!

**WildChild** · 04-14-2010 01:20 PM

Just for grins pick up a copy of, Women's Work The First 20,000 Years, by Elizabeth Wayland Barber. It goes through to the iron age.
Why not hire someone to come in a couple times a month and give both of you a break?

**grrrr** · 04-14-2010 01:35 PM

I think that I must get that!

Originally Posted by WildChild

Just for grins pick up a copy of, Women's Work The First 20,000 Years, by Elizabeth Wayland Barber. It goes through to the iron age.
Why not hire someone to come in a couple times a month and give both of you a break?

Honestly, we've discussed this, but I'm so "Yankee" - aka, "frugal" or, ok... I admit it, CHEAP! Also, we don't live in a mansion, by any means! It's the taking of the garbage that's my biggest gripe, b/c it's 6 flights down. If I could just chuck it out the window (which I think of doing every trash night) I would, but I could hurt someone... or burst the bag! It's not that I'm lazy, it's just heavy and I have a slipped disk, so it's just kind of uncomfortable!

But I can get over it.... it was just nice to vent about this.... it really boils down to the stupid garbage. I love cooking... I love Swiffering.... I don't love schlepping to do laundry, but I can get over it.... but that dang garbage. It's always there staring me in the face! grrrrr.....

**WildChild** · 04-14-2010 01:49 PM

What is Swiffering?

Why not get a smaller garbage can that will take a very handleable bag and have him take the bag down when he leaves for work?

**grrrr** · 04-14-2010 02:20 PM

Originally Posted by WildChild

What is Swiffering?

Why not get a smaller garbage can that will take a very handleable bag and have him take the bag down when he leaves for work?

Oh, the "Swiffer" -- it's that fabulous creation that cleans and collects dirt, dust and everything! I love it, I also have the duster - which is hand held, the wet one which is great for kitchens and bathrooms.... it's amazing.

Where we live we have garbage collected every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning, usually at 7am. So.... there in lies the problem. I can really get over it, I guess I am "focusing" on it like a child.... errggh!!!

It's almost like the "don't look at the red dot" - and then all you can do is LOOK at the red dot! I'll get over it.... but thanks for the good ideas nonetheless! Also for the book suggestion!

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