How do I leave

**maan** · 05-01-2010 09:13 PM

I am married for 6 years and have a son. Just in one year i realised my husband had no interest in me but don’t know why I could not even think that he could cheat me. But then one day caught him having another mobile and talking to some girl. I was devastated but some how he made me believe that the phone was one of his friends and they were just pranking a girl. Many similar incidents happened in next three years. One day I saw his mobile bill which was £110 and he explained he talks with friends a lot and I believed. But after another one year same bill came in my hands again so just to pass time i had good look at that I discovered something that ripped my heart apart. It was about his birthday he made 50 calls to just one number in just one day and he said he his friends and I was so upset because I wanted to be with him on that night. I thought I will ring on that number but I don’t know why I didn’t. Then on fifth year of our marriage I found out from him he had a girlfriend before our marriage he wanted to marry with and they were together for 8 years and he accepted he kept his relationship after marriage as well. He was sorry about this but he said he is telling me because now he loves me.
But after that day every moment I just thought about those whole five years we spent together and about all those lies and reason behind all his , neglect and behaviour towards. I can not forgive him for everything he done to me, but I don’t have any way to get out of this, I am scared for my son’s future and how I will raise him and afford to live alone.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-02-2010 12:56 AM

Hi Maan, you wrote this on an old post, so I've started a new thread for you.

So, are you suggesting that he is still seeing her now as well? And, did he tell you why they did not marry but still stayed together, whilst he married you?

He has said, "now he loves you" .. But, he has suggested he married you whilst in love with someone else and lied to you all that time, I understand why you feel that you have been cheated and not in a marriage you thought you were in.

How old is your son?

You know that children can see pain, there is no laughter in your voice, no happiness in your soul, to share with him... If you are not happy and can not fix this with him and don't want to, then you will survive, you will find a way...

Where are your family? Do you have friends where you live? Sounds like you need people to talk to and by talking, they may very well find a solution for you for now.

CW

**Beautiful Disaster** · 05-02-2010 06:51 AM

but I don’t have any way to get out of this, I am scared for my son’s future and how I will raise him and afford to live alone.

Reword this and promise yourself that you'll never let the words come out of your mouth again. "I don't have any way to get out of this". Yes you do, I promise. But if you focus on all the ways you CAN'T get out of it, you surely won't see all the ways you can.

Depending on where you live there are financial options for single mothers. Firstly, you could (and should) file for child support. There are options. You just have to research and find out whats available in your area.

Your child comes first. Staying in a marriage in which you're treated poorly will be very damaging to your son.

Stand up. Be proactive and find a way. You CAN do it.

**starjoy08** · 05-04-2010 07:58 PM

If you are upset , I am sure your child can see that. Look for outside help. You can do it!!!! It sounds like he is bad for you. Save yourself and your child.

**mommyJ** · 05-05-2010 12:19 PM

The question is do you still love him after all what he did and is willing to sacrifice for your son. If you do you need to talk to him and make clear to him that he doesn't not need any other person in his life. You can both love each other again and work it out if you really like...