my husband left

**vlcichy** · 05-24-2010 03:53 PM

We have been together for 18 years married 13 and about 4 weeks ago he said he doesn't love me anymore and said he needed space and we also have 5 children together and I also found out that he met an old girlfriend from like back in the 7th grade on his Facebook and he's been talking and texting her I still love him and want him back but he wont even talk to me I need some advice on what I can do

**jns** · 05-24-2010 04:43 PM

Is he still living with you? Do both of you still have good sex lives? Give him an idea of how much he will have left of his earnings after alimony and child support payments.

**JadedQueen** · 05-24-2010 04:58 PM

I agree with the above post... go see an attorney and have legal seperation papers drawn up spelling out his financial as well as emotional responsibilities he has to you and the kids.... you can't hold on to someone that doesn't want to be there.... do you really want a man there against his will? Let him go, chances are he'll see that the grass isn't always greener on the other side and he'll end up running back to you, by then you may decide you want your 'space'. Even if the relationship isn't ending just yet.... see a lawyer and get a "legal seperation" not only to protect you but to protect and support your 5 children.

**wishfulthinker** · 05-25-2010 08:11 AM

like jns asked.. he left as in, the house..? or are you both are still together... 18yrs is a long long time.. have you talked it over ? how can he leave suddenly just because some old friend popped up on fb.. this is weird..

also even i feel that mothers always get a say when it comes to a child's custody. if you walk out of this marriage.. there is nothing else to fear.. you're a strong person.. if you are able to think as far as wanting to break free of a relationshp this long... then u can face and fight all it takes to with your child. and also the govt accommodates us when we face something like this.

don't wrry.. give yourself time. i know i m not married and it isnt for me to say, but i 've been thru stuff and i know its "possible" to come out .. time is all it takes. your daughter is lucky she has a mum like u who cares. dont ever think she ll miss out. one strong loving parent is better than 2 fallen-apart parents under the same roof. she will have peace. and so will you.

Cheers !

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-25-2010 07:28 PM

Play "her" at her own game...

It's obvious that there has/is flirting going on and typically, the grass is always greener right? Not....

It's fair to say that "routine" will dull a marriage and something is missing for someone to stray..

Play her at her own game... get dressed up, take a photo, look beautiful not tarty

And, put yourself up on facebook, be-friend as many people as you know, find ones you haven't seen yourself for years, and start making some friends, then be-friend him

Let him see, what he would be missing and let him see that you have found some "old" friends yourself...

Play it nice, keep your cool, pretend even if you will, that it doesn't matter, dress to impress whenever you can, so he all of a sudden sees "you" the girl he married, 18 years ago and then wonders, if she may find someone else, how he would feel about that, and what actually does he have?

CW

**wishfulthinker** · 05-26-2010 09:39 AM

hey thts a great idea.. anythin to try is better than watchin it fade away

i see nw that the initial idead on this thread may b the last resort..

**JadedQueen** · 05-27-2010 02:29 AM

That's great advice Chandlers Wish..... if nothing else get in touch with old friends and make a few new ones instead of moping around over him.... Have a little fun, you deserve it.