how can i seperate from husband when i'm unemployed?
First post, so hello! Been with OH nearly 15 years, married for 5. The relationship hasn't been working for a while now & its making us both miserable. I'm not sure if its really the relationship thats making me so sad or other stuff going on in my life, but feel that i need some space to try and work things out. I've felt this way for a while, but the fact that i'm not working has stopped me from doing anything about it. I don't think he will want to move out of the family home, & certainly wont want to support me financially, so basically i'm trapped. I haven't worked for the last 4 years, due to health issues (i have narcolepsy & suspected MS or ME - docs haven't decieded which yet), but wasn't really an issue as i stayed at home with my 4 year old. I have recently been looking for work but its difficult with the ongoing health / childcare issues.
All adivce much appreciated.
xx
Welcome to the Forum confused2.
Perhaps, you've gotten yourself into a rut. You say married 5 years and have a 4 year old, so I imagine the past 5 years were different than that, of the 10 years together before you got married.
You only feel trapped, if you are no longer in love, that's something you have to work out.... If you were to look back at before you got pregnant, before marriage, what was that relationship honestly like for both of you, then?
Perhaps you have lost your identity. What if you were try try 1 day a week at least, volunteer work? To experience again, find yourself again?
I am not sure about where you live, but in Australia children start kindegarten at 5 years of age and that's not that far away. If you have felt like your in a rut, changed your whole life for marriage and a baby, then that would reflect on your relationship, naturally...
Relationships take work and when they are not working, you have to find the solution...
They do have issues, problems but again unless you both communicate them, they won't change.
You've had 15 years ,I am sure some of those years were fantastic, so I wouldn't be talking "him moving out" yet, until you both sit down and admit all the things that are bothing you both and try to come up with some solutions.
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
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