Thread: Forgive or Not?

Wow..mnd i just want to point out the fact that I am a guy and I think this way crosses the line. Personally i would already have an issue with the fact that he is texting flirtatiously with other women. I can understand that flirting can be perfectly harmless but this doesn't seem even like "just flirting". It sounds to me like he is trying to make a serious play to sleep with other women. I would highly doubt he is even being faithful to you right now. Could you honestly say that if he were given the opportunity to sleep with these women he is texting, he would turn it down? Sounds highly doubtful. I'm not sure where ANYONE would say it's harmless and just playful for a person in a committed relationship to ask other women, especially co-workers, for sexy photos of themselves. I don't know your boyfriend but it sounds to me like you managed to get into a relationship with the duke of planet douchelon... If you want to be in a relationship with someone you can trust and isn't attempting to get into other girls pants all the time..My advice would be to leave.

I think, you can just do like he does, or at least tell him what would he feel if you do that to him, like asking nude pics of several guys n stuff, well you don't have to do that, the thing is, only to know if he feels hurt being treated like that? I guess he just doesnt realise what he's doing... asking for some women's sexy pics are just too weird... I agree with ocularone that he would try a serious play to sleep with those women. at least IF he is really not into sleeping with other women, what he did is totally showing that he is cheating.

or perhaps he did that cuz he saw you doing the same in the past? well I don't know. If you never did that then he is the starter.. If you have done that long time ago, then he might lowering his standard of the relationship and think that those things he did is normal. ykno what I mean?

Think it over again, the relationship doesnt have to end, but sometimes it's good to give someone a lesson.

You say that you have discussed this with him. Discussed how it makes you feel - how hurt you feel, lowering you self confidence etc et. You havent moaned or nagged about it - you have been direct and told him up front. But yet he is STILL doing it too you. that doesnt sound like a man who cares for his woman at all. He has acknowledged your feelings temporarily - and then chosen to discard them to continue to chat up other women and request photos from them

You have told him about your feelings once. and he pushed them to the side. do you really think he will change if you tell him again?

4 year relationship with 2 children. That makes things different than if it were some casual relationship. He says he can't picture his life without you and his children. What does his actions say to everyone he contacts about his relationship with you? Unlike the porn threads he is dealing with "real" people. These people have to assume that your relationship IS NOT what he is telling you it is. I think another discussion with him is in order and he needs to understand that his ACTIONS are screaming CHEATER so loud that you can't hear the "I love you" he is SAYING.

Oh my gosh this is so tough, and unfortunately I can relate. It is SO hard to trust again, and I'm not even sure I trust my bf again yet, but I'm trying. Once I found out though, he said he stopped immediately, and had some heart to hearts with me about his self esteem issues, wanting to feel wanted etc. - Not that ANY of that is an excuse, but I begrudgingly TRIED to sort of understand that... If he kept doing it, it would be over an in an instant though. I cannot and will not accept any more of that behavior. It's hard enough to deal with a past like that, let alone a present and continuing behavior.
If you love him enough to be able to get past this, and (KEY POINT HERE) if HE loves YOU enough to STOP this , forever, then you could move on. The question is, Do each of you love each other enough to make it work?
And then if you decide you DO, it takes WORK in the relationship to get it in a good spot again. We are still in that "working" phase... I know he thinks I'm being "needy" now, but I told him he made me that way. I need more reassurance than I've ever needed before in my life, to know that every day, I am making the right choice to stay in this relationship. Your bf needs to PROVE to you that you should stay with him. Whatever it takes.
However, if you cannot get past it, you have to leave... and it will be so hard I'm sure.