Thread: Please help!! my husband cheated and has a lovechild

Firstly my heart goes out to you. I found myself in the same situation only the child had reached the age of 11 by the time I found out. In the meantime my husband and I had gone on to have three children together.

Just like your situation my fiancé cheated during our year long engagement. We had been a couple for four years prior to getting engaged. The other woman knew he was engaged. She notified my husband of her pregnancy approximately 6 weeks before our wedding, and notified his parents a week before the wedding. My husband and his parents all deserve Oscars for their performance on our wedding day.

I began to get suspicious when I noticed my husband was withdrawing large amounts of cash (to pay maintenance for the child.) He would lie through his teeth about why he was withdrawing such amounts. I believed him and didn't question further.

Our first born was conceived the week his secret child was born. As mentioned above, we went on to have two more children. My husband is a professional GP and very well known in the Lowestoft area. Many people knew about his secret child as the mother kindly sent updates and pictures to his surgery. Nobody told me. I too worked at the surgery. The secret child lived less than ten minutes away from our house. Prior to working at his surgery, I remember working on the ward next door to a woman who was in the latter stages of pregnancy. I had no idea she was carrying my Husband's child. Why would I twig? It didn't cross my mind. My husband would have been aware of the fact we were working in close proximity, but it didn't seem to worry him.

He would meet up with the mother and child every few weeks and would even take them on outings.. sailing on our boat. I would be at home looking after our three children. I do feel for the innocent child in this mess.

As you have most likely gathered by now, the betrayal, deceit and lies have been unbearable. I spent four years trying to forgive, but he carried on seeking female attention in the form of texts and secret e-mails with various women. He even walked a female patient home after 'bumping' into her at a local pub/club and kissed her and regularly texted her. I found this out a few weeks before learning of the 'secret child' . Mobile phone bills were increasing, and had strangely been diverted to his place of work! A very clever man.

We went to relate, but my Husband wasn't really remorseful (He was for the first 6 months, but then said I should 'get over it') I asked him to share the 'secret' with his parents as felt they had a right to know.. we told them the day after I found out and once again they delivered an Oscar winning performance of 'shock' and 'surprise'.

I am now in the process of divorcing him, and he has already moved on with several women. Our children have coped amazingly well.. goodness knows how. Anyway my message to you would be to free yourself of this cheat before any more children are involved. If I had been told prior to our wedding, I would have run a mile, but I wasn't given that option. You can do so much better. Lots of hugs Xx

Congrats! you did the right thing! Hugs for you sis!